Monday, November 15, 2010

We'll consider this a soft opening

I don't consider my blog to have officially launched yet.  I have a special thing in mind that i want to write for the launch.  But I'm not ready yet. 

However, I have something to talk about in the meantime, and I don't feel like waiting on myself.  So we'll go ahead with this topic of discussion and then do the official launch when i get around to it. 

I've been hunting down a specific quote in order to perform the Official Launch.  I was reading through the book that contains this quote, and i found something really interesting that i hadn't paid attention to before.  I will not be able to do it literal justice, but here's the gist of it:  a high school boy who is cool and popular randomly becomes friends with a girl who is not cool and not popular.  He is over at her house for dinner and says to her, "You're so lucky."  She basically says, "Umm, what??  I have no friends, am completely unsuccessful in school, and everybody makes fun of me."  He says the reason she is lucky is that her family all loves each other. 

As i read it i thought, oh that's nice.  Then later in the day i had an experience that allowed me to see it illustrated in real life.  I was hanging out with a 2-yr old boy who is the youngest of 6 kids.  I imagine that he doesn't get a whole lot of individualized time with his parents.  His parents most certainly love him, i know that to be true.  But he just doesn't get one-on-one time very much.  I was playing with him and giving him some attention, and he started opening up and being himself.  It was so adorable.  He transformed from just-another-kid-in-the-bunch into a unique individual.  I was able to observe his personality and discover that for all his rambunctiousness (I mean, he is a 2 year old boy), he is very sweet.

It caused me to daydream about the kind of mother i want to be, and the kind of family i want to have.  Of course i want to be the loving family that other people are jealous of.  Of course I want my little baby girl, plus any siblings that may follow, to know that i love her\them.  And i want to be the kind of family that draws others in.  The kind of family that when a kid's friend is over for dinner, the friend can sense our love.

I'm really worried though.  My mother, who loves me very much, is not an emotional or affectionate person.  So I don't have an example to follow for overt lovingness.  And I myself, being very cosmic, am the type that would be all stressed out about cooking dinner or a messy house or trying to get everybody to bed or something else equally as temporal, and would forget what's really important and would forget to show love.  Even now, I do it to my husband all the time.  I put tasks before love.  How much worse is it going to be as our family gets bigger and the tasks increase?

All i can hope for is that these types of little reminders will keep popping up.  It was pretty random that i came across that paragraph in the book.  Maybe i should just set up a monthly e-mail alert for the next 25 years.  I could use a quote from my dad: "Life is precious, and love is all we have."

1 comment:

  1. i can completely identify with this sentiment! my mother is often a task-before-love mother. really i know it's love-through-tasks, but that's how it can feel. yet her taking time to spend moments or share thoughts is more valuable to me. she was my example for mothering, so i have to remind myself that it's not all about getting things done. lovely writing!