I don't consider my blog to have officially launched yet. I have a special thing in mind that i want to write for the launch. But I'm not ready yet.
However, I have something to talk about in the meantime, and I don't feel like waiting on myself. So we'll go ahead with this topic of discussion and then do the official launch when i get around to it.
I've been hunting down a specific quote in order to perform the Official Launch. I was reading through the book that contains this quote, and i found something really interesting that i hadn't paid attention to before. I will not be able to do it literal justice, but here's the gist of it: a high school boy who is cool and popular randomly becomes friends with a girl who is not cool and not popular. He is over at her house for dinner and says to her, "You're so lucky." She basically says, "Umm, what?? I have no friends, am completely unsuccessful in school, and everybody makes fun of me." He says the reason she is lucky is that her family all loves each other.
As i read it i thought, oh that's nice. Then later in the day i had an experience that allowed me to see it illustrated in real life. I was hanging out with a 2-yr old boy who is the youngest of 6 kids. I imagine that he doesn't get a whole lot of individualized time with his parents. His parents most certainly love him, i know that to be true. But he just doesn't get one-on-one time very much. I was playing with him and giving him some attention, and he started opening up and being himself. It was so adorable. He transformed from just-another-kid-in-the-bunch into a unique individual. I was able to observe his personality and discover that for all his rambunctiousness (I mean, he is a 2 year old boy), he is very sweet.
It caused me to daydream about the kind of mother i want to be, and the kind of family i want to have. Of course i want to be the loving family that other people are jealous of. Of course I want my little baby girl, plus any siblings that may follow, to know that i love her\them. And i want to be the kind of family that draws others in. The kind of family that when a kid's friend is over for dinner, the friend can sense our love.
I'm really worried though. My mother, who loves me very much, is not an emotional or affectionate person. So I don't have an example to follow for overt lovingness. And I myself, being very cosmic, am the type that would be all stressed out about cooking dinner or a messy house or trying to get everybody to bed or something else equally as temporal, and would forget what's really important and would forget to show love. Even now, I do it to my husband all the time. I put tasks before love. How much worse is it going to be as our family gets bigger and the tasks increase?
All i can hope for is that these types of little reminders will keep popping up. It was pretty random that i came across that paragraph in the book. Maybe i should just set up a monthly e-mail alert for the next 25 years. I could use a quote from my dad: "Life is precious, and love is all we have."