My debilitating, unbearable Sacroiliac Joint pain is back. With a vengeance. I've been in horrible pain for a week. Sometimes i can barely walk. It also hurts when i sit down. Lying in bed is painful too.
The Professor and the BabyGirl have been so wonderful to me in my suffering. After i'd already endured several days and it wasn't getting better, my coping skills disappeared. On one particular day when the pain was really bad, i started crying. The BabyGirl and i were sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch, and i just burst into tears without warning. At first she looked at me with a "what in the world is happening here" expression. But within seconds it changed into concern. She said to me softly and with compassion, "Mama crying. Why tears, Mama?"
I told her that i was going to rest on the couch and finish my crying; she nodded understandingly. I remembered to grab a box of tissues en route and the BabyGirl trotted after me. As soon as i got settled down on the couch (which is no small feat), i wanted a glass of water so badly. Well, as luck would have it, one of her favorite things in this world is carrying my water cup. Most of the time she is prohibited from doing so because it results in lots of spilled water.
When i nicely asked her to please fetch my water cup from the kitchen table, she thought it was her lucky day. It was as if she was born for this. She was SO HAPPY to run back into the kitchen and get my water cup from the table. The task should only have taken a second. Instead, i heard chairs being pushed around and some grunting. Then she mumbled to herself something about, "Reach!" Finally she returned triumphantly with a cup in hand. Unfortunately, it was not my current water cup that was left on the edge of the table within easy reach. It was Daddy's water cup from dinner last night, which had not been cleared away. It had been moved to the very center of the table where you could not easily get to it if you happened to be 36 inches tall. But she had gone after that day-old water cup with everything she had. She climbed and grunted and reached until she claimed her prize. Mama had requested water, and the BabyGirl was not going to return empty-handed.
She was so pleased with herself as she presented me with the day-old cup she had procured. I thanked her profusely and made a big deal about what a great helper she was and such a big girl to get the cup all by herself. Nonetheless, i couldn't bring myself to drink the small amount of water that was in that cup. Day-old Daddy backwash was swimming on the surface and taunting me. It really grossed me out.
But i was so touched by her desire to help that it took my mind off the pain a little. Then she sat down next to me and snuggled up close. She gently rubbed my leg and said, "All better, Mama. All better."
I'm so greatful for that moment. She doesn't have the first idea about sacroiliac joints, but she dropped everything to be present with me when i was in need. She has repeatedly demonstrated her compassion during her short life, and i am so impressed by her caring nature.
A few weeks ago it was my turn to serve in the nursery. The kids were sitting in chairs quietly eating their crackers at snack time. A mom came in carrying her three-year-old girl who was in the middle of a tantrum. It wasn't a kicking, thrashing tantrum; it was a fairly well composed crying tantrum. The girl just wanted to cry and nothing else. She didn't want to be comforted by her mom, she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to be distracted with toys, she just wanted to cry. So her mom put her in a chair in the corner and left.
Most of the kids in the nursery took little notice of this. They continued enjoying their snack. The BabyGirl, however, was full of concern. She had such a worried look on her face when she said to me, "Girl is crying!" I asked the BabyGirl if she wanted to go give her a hug, which is exactly what she wanted to do. Unfortunately, the crying girl wasn't so much in the mood for a hug. She had her head buried in her lap, and none of her body parts were very accessible. The BabyGirl did the best she could and hugged as much of the girl as she could get to.
(We later found out that the crying girl had lice at the time (her mom didn't discover the critters until that afternoon), so i was VERY RELIEVED that the hug wasn't a close embrace!)
Once again, the situation proved that the BabyGirl is a very tenderhearted soul who is attentive to others.
I didn't fully grasp the significance of all these things until a friend asked me if the BabyGirl was treating me okay while i'm so physically limited. I told her that the BabyGirl's favorite pasttime is snuggling, and that she is perfectly happy to curl up with me and read books. My friend was shocked. She has three little boys, so she didn't even know that such a thing as snuggling existed in the world. Her boys want to spend all day playing Hide & Seek, Superheroes Jump Off the Couch, and Pillow Attack.
It was the words "pillow attack" that really got to me. I'm pretty sure that pillow attack would be the end of me. The only foreseeable outcomes are either several weeks in traction, or a Clinitron bed with a Sip 'n Puff.
I was extremely greatful for my BabyGirl prior to that conversation, and now i'm exponentially more greatful! Praise the Lord for snuggles instead of pillow attack.
I am excited to see the plans that God has for the BabyGirl, and the ways in which she will be able to apply her gift of compassion. I pray that He gives me the wisdom and insight to point her towards the woman He created her to be.