Normal Day

The things that i currently NEED to be doing:

• Packing for my trip tomorrow
• Setting out the BabyGirl's food for tomorrow
• Washing a mountain of dishes

The things that i currently WANT to be doing:

• Play Zoo Tycoon
• Play Zoo Tycoon
• Play Zoo Tycoon

Writing a blog post seems like a good alternative.  It is more productive than playing Zoo Tycoon, but not as important as the bonafide tasks, so it's the perfect balance of indulgence and industry.  I've had a very emotional week.  I've had a very emotional day.  Writing helps me unwind, but right now i don't know what to say.  You know?  Writing feels good, but i don't know what to write.

My Granddaddy, who is now with Jesus, was a man that i greatly admire.  He loved the Lord with an undivided heart.  He used to talk about what he called "pivotal moments."  Pivotal moments are those times in life when you face a challenge that defines who you will become.  When you have to choose the wide or the narrow.  As Robert Frost put it, when two roads diverge in a yellow wood. 

It's like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book.  Decisions you make in Chapter One determine which course you follow, and whether you live or die on the last page.  I read a C.S. Lewis book years ago and remember a sentence that said that the devil wants us always thinking about the past or the future, but never the present.

That's me.  Always the past, always the future.  Being angry over the circumstances of April 2010.  Being worried about the upcoming school year.  Letting the pain of yesterday and anxiety about tomorrow taint the joy of today.

Today i have a roof over my head.  Today i have enough food to eat.  Today my bills are paid.  Today there was sunshine (it only lasted for about 45 minutes but it was sunshine nonetheless).  Today i had giggles and smiles and snuggles.  Today i have love.

Today i was shown tremendous grace by two extraordinary friends.  Today a friend said to me, "I believe that God loves us relentlessly, therefore I'm going to love you relentlessly until you turn to Him."  Another friend also showed me great love by saying, "I forgive you" to the many wrongs I've committed against her.

I feel like those two conversations were pivotal in my journey.  We won't know for certain until I'm 80 years old.  My huge fear is that my current trajectory will cause me to be an old woman who is bitter, defeated, and isolated.  Hopefully today's events opened the door just enough to let a tiny ray of light through.  If i follow that light, I can become an old woman whose life is filled with grace, love, and peace.

I've had a song in my head today.  I'm embarrassed to tell you what it is, because it's not as deep and insightful as you would hope for.  But it's the foolish things that shame the wise, so here we go.  From that great philosopher Bob Marley, i give you:

"Don't worry
about a thing
cause every little thing
gonna be alright!"

(listen to it here)

Sort of Like "Five Things That Happened This Week"

Hello friends!

I am now recovered from my bout of cholera, but being out of commission for 6 days put me behind on most life activities.  I've been itching to write something on here, but have been swamped with getting my household back on track.  So i thought we'd do a little "5 Things That Happened This Week", but i was having a hard time organizing my week into 5 events, so i'll just give you a quick run down on each of us.  We'll start with the BabyGirl since she's the cutest.

1.  BabyGirl - She FINALLY seems to have finished with her Difficult Phase, which lasted for about 2 months.  The Professor commented that she can do so much more now than she could 3 weeks ago.  And it's true!  She has changed a lot.  There's the one obvious achievement, that she can walk, but there are a lot of little things too.  The second half of the week she has been the sweetest little angel.  She is a very funny person and she makes me laugh a lot.  She can make some really funny faces. 

She is starting to focus on language.  She points at an object to get you to say it's name, for example, "button."  She intently studies your mouth as you say it, and then she tries to repeat the word.  She has quite the attention span for it.  After about the 20th consecutive time of saying "button" for her, I'm ready to do something else, but she's still focused.  I never noticed before how many of the words that a baby would want to learn are all 2 syllables and end with "y".  Kitty, Daddy, Tummy, Piggie (aka toes).  It would be very confusing.  There are a few "b" words that she's practicing right now: book, button, ball.  She pretty much just says "buh" for all of them.

There are times when she just up and gets the giggles with no apparent explanation.  It's so funny!  Sometimes you can't even tell what set her off, but once she gets the giggles then anything and everything you do is hilarious to her.  Yesterday The Professor was holding her, and i made a motion to take her from him, and she shrugged me off like, "Don't touch me."  I took her anyway, and then once i was holding her i reenacted her shrugging motion, and she died laughing.  The Professor and I both did it over and over, and the three of us just stood there and laughed till our sides hurt.

2.  The Professor - This week was crazy for him.  It was final exams and all the related end-of-semester tasks.  Once he finished grading finals, he plunged headfirst into preparing for his interview next week.  In the midst of all that, he did a little handyman work by fixing the microwave.  The handle came off last week.  He called the company to order a new one, and at the end of the transaction the person asked if he'd also like to get their Super Duper Microwave Cleaning Solution.  Now normally we don't hold with these kind of gimmicks, but you haven't seen the inside of our microwave.  This was different from my Fabric Store experience, in which the lady was a total quacko and trying to sell something completely unnecessary.  The Professor was honestly impressed with this tactic.  If you are calling to order a replacement part, then clearly you've had the appliance for a number of years.  And if you've had it for a number of years, then it's probably dirty.  And if you have to take the time to fix it, why not go ahead and clean it?  So that is how we came to be the proud owners of Super Duper Microwave Cleaning Solution.  And boy does that thing sparkle now.  Whether it's a testament to the cleaning solution or to The Professor's skills, we'll never know.

This week was the series finale of the show Smallville.  The Professor has a long history with Smallville.  The show started when we were in college, and a group of our friends was really into it.  We would all get together to watch it in Allison's room.  I myself wasn't that interested in the show, but it was an excuse to be able to see The Professor.  Our college was an absolutely no co-ed dorms type situation.  The boys were barely allowed to so much as look at a female dorm as they walked on the sidewalk in front of it.  That's why it was a big deal to watch a tv show in mixed company, in a dorm room.  Apparently The Professor and I continued this hobby of Smallville during the year that he lived here and i lived in Atlanta.  Apparently we watched it on tv at the same time and called each other on the commercial breaks.  I have no memory of this.  I believe it to be true and it sounds like just the sort of sappy thing we would do; it just can't remember doing it.  Several years ago i quit the show Smallville because it got very silly.  The Professor, however, has remained loyal, because that is the kind of person he is.  Once he makes a commitment or gets involved with something, he never turns back.  For years i have been making fun of the show, and he has been faithfully watching it.  This week was the much-needed end to the show.  The Professor asked me if i wanted to watch the last-ever episode with him, and i couldn't understand why he thought i would do such a thing, until he reminded me of our history with it, and of the fact that we watched it together long distance.  Even so, i didn't watch it with him. 

3.  Me - The first few days of this week i had the dysentery, and the next few days after that i was recovering, and the next few days i was fine.  It took me longer than expected to get my strength and appetite back.  Before i got sick, when the BabyGirl had it, i was telling some friends at work that she was sick.  One lady has a baby nephew who lives with her, so we always ask each other about our babies.  When she heard about the BabyGirl's diarrhea, she said right away without hesitation, "I'll bet you she's teething!"  This was very confusing to me.  I've taken a couple of anatomy classes, and i don't remember learning that the tooth bone is connected to the poop bone.  I gave it some thought, and it just didn't make physiological sense.  She wouldn't give it up though, "Call your husband, tell him to look in her mouth, and i'll bet you she's teething!" Well when i wound up getting sick, i missed a week of work, so it was a while before i saw her again.  First thing in the morning, she said, "So is she teething?"  I explained to her that while, yes, the BabyGirl is teething, the fact that i caught it from her and had it for 6 days makes it seem unlikely that teething was the cause. 

She seemed unconvinced.

Another thing for me is that i nannied for David on Thursday!  We had a lot of fun.  This time went WAY better than last time.  I lost David at one point (don't tell Laura!).  He can sort of scoot around but not very adeptly.  I had left him in a big open space in The Room Formerly Known As The Living Room while i got something from the kitchen.  I told the BabyGirl, "You're in charge of David for a minute."  When i came back, he was gone!  This used to happen a lot when the BabyGirl started crawling, so you'd think i'd learn my lesson.  Fortunately, he was hiding behind a huge bag of clothes that Hannah gave me.  Crisis averted!

I fell into a bad habit this week.  I started playing Zoo Tycoon again.  It happened when i didn't have the energy to do anything but was bored of the internet (and you know you've spent too much time on the internet when you run out of things to do).  Zoo Tycoon was the perfect solution; all you have to move is your index finger.  It occupies your mind just enough that you aren't bored, but isn't as much work as reading a book.  I used to be obsessed with this game during my nightshift days.  It kept me awake til 5am many times.  It was the perfect solution then too.  I needed something that would keep me up all night long but not make any noise since The Professor was sleeping.  You can't vacuum or wash dishes in the middle of the night, but you can play Zoo Tycoon!  I remember many lonely nights, trying to survive until 5am when i was allowed to go to bed.  It was my brother who got me hooked on this game, and it gave us a common bond.  Now he's older and much more cool. 

And that's a wrap, folks!  Thanks for listening.
 

Mother's Day Dysentery

I clearly have to renounce my title of Mommy The Destroyer, because i caught the BabyGirl's sick tummy.

Fortunately, with the BabyGirl it only lasted 48 hours.  With me, we are going on Day 5.  All my symptoms point to cholera, but i think the more reasonable explanation is rotavirus.  I was interested to discover in my research today that diarrhea is the most common cause of missed work in the developed world and a leading cause of death in the developing world (Diskin, 2009).

In a 6-day period we made 5 trips to the grocery for:

1) Pedialyte and jello (when the BabyGirl developed symptoms)

2) whole milk and BRAT diet supplies (when the BabyGirl improved and realized she LOVES toast)
3) Gatorade, ginger ale, and sorbet (when i became sick)
4) Potatoes and other bland starches (when i was hungry after 3 days of not eating and felt adventurous enough to try solid food)
5) More Gatorade (when it became apparent that i was not ready for solid food after all)

I am very disappointed that my cholera kept me from participating in the RPCC Rummage Sale as much as i wanted, and also ruined Mother's Day.  I really wanted to go to church because sometimes they have an open mic sharing time on Mother's Day, and i had prepared something very eloquent to say.  It was a gorgeous sunny day.  But alas, i had to quarantine myself to a distance of 10 steps from the toilet.

The Professor was as sweet and nuturing as you could ever hope for.  He bought me beautiful flowers for Mother's Day.  I am very glad that it's me who is sick instead of him.  I'm allowed to miss work, but he isn't.  Particularly the week before and during final exams. 

One exciting thing about today was that ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball featured game was the Braves vs Phillies!  This means that you can watch the game live online.  And, the Braves won!  It's particularly important to win against the Phillies.

My mother suggested that next Sunday we have a Mother's Day II, which i think is a great idea.  More flowers for me!!!

 

Mother's Day is Coming

It is Episode 12 of season 22 of Survivor. 

The castaways have been living in the jungle for 30 days.

Mike, a former Marine who served in Iraq, has been voted out of the tribe and is now living on Redemption Island, where he takes place in challenges in order to remain in the game.  On this particular challenge, the competitors are told that the winner will receive time with a family member.

Mike wins the challenge and they bring out his mother, Jane.  But before he is allowed to hug her, Jeff Probst gives him a choice to make.  Mike can either 1) spend the afternoon with his mom, 2) forgo time with his mom, and instead allow his 2 fellow Redemption Island buddies to spend time with their loved ones, or 3) forgo time with his mom and give time with loved ones to the 6 people still in the game (who incidentally voted him out). 

Here is the scene -
-------------------------------------------------
Jeff Probst:  Very big, potentially million-dollar decision.  Take me through the thought process.

Mike:  The decision is almost clear in my head.  Yesterday i was reading, it was either Matther or Mark, and Jesus was asked, of all the commandments, what are the greatest.  He responded, "Love your brother like you would love yourself."  So i think, if i give the most good to the most people, and make friends from enemies, i think that's the only play here.

Jeff Probst:  Let me make sure i'm clear on what you're doing.  You're giving up your love for your mom, and you are giving it to the 6 people who single-handedly decimated your tribe.

Mike: Yes.

Jeff Probst:  I gotta tell you, i thought the odds of that happening were less than zero.  Jane[Mike's Mom], does this decision surprise you?

Mike's Mom:  [with tears] No.  This is who my son is.  He is a hero.  Honey, I'm so very proud of you.
-------------------------------------------------

I bawled my eyes out.

What an amazing man.  What an amazing mother.
   

Extra Smooches

This story fall into the category of Things You Judge Other Parents For Before You Actually Have Kids.

A family we are friends with is constantly sick with a stomach bug.  The cumulative amount of puking that has taken place in that household in the 5 years since their oldest child was born gives me the heeby-jeebies.  I have always thought, "What is the deal with those people?  Have they not heard of handwashing?"  I always assumed that either their infection control practices are very poor, or that the whole lot of them have a rare defect in their DNA that predisposes them to gastoenteritis.

And now, here i am in the midst of the BabyGirl's very first sick tummy. 

When The Professor or the BabyGirl get sick, i morph into Conan the Destroyer.  The old Emergency Room adrenaline gets flowing and i start muttering things like, "This patient isn't going to die on my watch." 

This sick tummy is of the lower GI category, aka diarrhea.  Or, as The Professor described it to me on the phone while i was at work, "acid diarrhea."  I'll spare you further details, but it is heartbreaking.  Her poor little bottom was in a lot of distress.  I needed to stop by the grocery on my way home from work anyway, so while i was there i picked up some sick tummy supplies.  I thought to myself, "Why couldn't this be a cold instead?"  It's easier to psych yourself up mentally to deal with a cold.  You get out the humidifier and the bulb suction and the vaporub and get down to business.

The Professor did a fabulous job of nuturing her thru Day 1, during which she wouldn't eat anything.  By the end of the day she was weak and listless and so tragically snuggly.  Snuggly is always good, but when they want to snuggle because they're sick there's just something eery about it.  She tried to play with a toy, realized she didn't have it in her, heaved a big sigh, and laid her head down on his lap.

I am on duty for Day 2.  Our treatment plan involves Pedialyte, jello, snuggling, and extra smooches (above and beyond her normal daily quota).  She still doesn't want to eat, but we did manage to progress from liquids to toast!  In the early afternoon she looked like she was making a comeback, but it was a false alarm because she had lots of trouble in the evening.  It all started to unravel after her afternoon nap.  I felt like i didn't have time to take care of her because i was too busy taking care of her!  We even tried to break the rules and do things she normally isn't allowed to do, but that didn't work either.

I used to think that if a baby\young child gets a GI bug, then the mother is personally to blame.  It obviously was a result of a lapse in Contact Precautions.  Once a child is school-age then all bets are off, but while they are home under your care it is your job to protect them.  But now, despite my best efforts, my BabyGirl has a sick tummy.  I can't think of a single place where she would have gotten it, and i've spent WAY too much time analyzing this.  Nonetheless, no stomach bug is a match for Mommy the Destroyer!

The Greatest and the Least

This is a story about two of the men i work with, Rob and John (names changed to protect the innocent).

Rob is the boss, but unfortunately not a good one.  He is at the top of the totem pole of our department.  John is a Patient Care Tech, or PTC.  He is at the bottom of the totem pole. 

Rob's demeanor gives us the impression that he couldn't care less about this job.  He's not invested; it doesn't mean much to him.  John is one of the hardest working people you will ever meet.  His job might not seem illustrious or significant, but he does it with all his might.  John has the attitude that if you are going to do something, you should do it well.  John really is the backbone of our department.

There have been a few situations recently that have illustrated the difference in character of these two men.  One example is Blizzard Day.  I'm still mad at how my boss handled Blizzard Day.  He showed no leadership, no planning, no thinking.  He was just winging it.  Blizzard Day was total chaos.  There was not a clear method of communication with the staff or with our customers.  It turned out that only about 7 out of 20+ people came to work that day.  It was crazy busy, we had no idea what was going on, and each of us was doing the work of 4 people.  As you might imagine, we didn't have time for a lunch break.  One of the doctors ordered pizza, and it was made VERY CLEAR that the pizza was ONLY for doctors.  The rest of us were strictly forbidden to eat any.  My boss Rob happened to be sitting at the desk when my loudmouth co-worker Marlene walked up and said, "How come nobody told me we had pizza?!?  Here i am starving with no lunchbreak and you guys have pizza!!!"  To which we said, "Oh no honey, we aren't eating any pizza.  It's only for doctors."  She said to Rob, "Well where's our pizza?!?"

Rob said, and i only wish you could hear the tone of his voice (it was the tone of someone who is lying in order to look good), "Oh i tried, i really tried to order pizza for you guys, but no one is delivering today because of the snow."

We all knew that someone was delivering because there were three pizzas in the conference room at that very minute.

Rob just flat out didn't care.

John, on the other hand, after witnessing these events, snuck off to the cafeteria and bought more than a dozen cookies.  With his own money.  He brought them back, set them on the desk, and said, "I know you guys are really hungry so i got you some cookies.  It's not a lot but hopefully it will tide you over for a little while."

It still brings tears to my eyes because it was so thoughtful.  Here we have the man who is the least showing more concern than the man who is the greatest.  The man who is the least was going above and beyond in order to help out his team.  The man who is the least noticed a problem, and did his part to fix it.

Since that day, Rob has continued to be incompetent and making excuses for it.  He FINALLY ordered the combo printer\copy machine we've needed forever, but he didn't arrange for anyone to install it.  The delivery man took away the old printer (that didn't copy) and put the new printer-copier in its place, but no one from the Computer Nerd department set up the printer with the 3 computers.  So we went from having a printer that didn't copy to having a copier that didn't print.  Every day for 2 weeks, Rob assured everyone, "Don't worry! I talked to IT and they're sending someone."

Meanwhile, John continues to serve those around him.  We have free coffee at my job, but it isn't good coffee.  Personally, i ain't too proud for free coffee, but many of my coworkers are coffee snobs and refuse to drink it.  They were spending a great deal of money on the Starbucks in the lobby.  Someone found a really cool coffee-making contraption.  I can't really describe it to you.  It's sort of like a french press, but it isn't.  I don't actually know what its official name is.  The important features are that it doesn't use electricity, but it's easier to clean up than a french press.  It doesn't take up much space.  Anyway, Debbie is the ring-leader of the new coffee club.  She brought the contraption and left it in the pantry for anyone to use.  People take turns bringing in their favorite coffee.  Once the coffee club got going, people started bringing in fancy creamers.  Now a few people have their own mug, rather than the styrofoam cups.  It has really blossomed into quite the sophisticated operation.  The drawback though, is that it now takes up a lot of space.  The benefit of the contraption was that you could store it easily.  But now we have to store the contraption, several mugs, different brands of coffee, and containers of creamer.  Well John is in charge of the pantry.  He orders the supplies and keeps it maintained.  He cleared off a shelf for all the coffee supplies, and sweet-talked the secretary into letting him borrow the label maker.  He made an "Olson Cafe" label for the shelf and put all the paraphernalia there.  Then he christened the new shelf by bringing his 80 year old mother's homemade pound cake, which is amazingly delicious with coffee. 

I recognize that having a shelf labeled "Olson Cafe" doesn't sound like much to you.  But if you could spend a day in my work environment you would see that it is a very big deal to us.  In this job we have no voice.  Our customers take advantage of us all the time.  They yell at us, they make sexually inappropriate comments, they cross the line.  Our boss and the people above him make strict rules without our input.  They dictate how we do our jobs, when they don't actually know what our jobs are.  So the Olson Cafe is the only thing that is our own.  The Olson Cafe is how we take care of each other.  It's how we share our generosity.  Of the entire 6th floor, that one shelf in the pantry is the only place where we make the rules.

In the Olson kingdom, Rob is the greatest.  But in the Olson Cafe, John is the king.