The Greatest and the Least

This is a story about two of the men i work with, Rob and John (names changed to protect the innocent).

Rob is the boss, but unfortunately not a good one.  He is at the top of the totem pole of our department.  John is a Patient Care Tech, or PTC.  He is at the bottom of the totem pole. 

Rob's demeanor gives us the impression that he couldn't care less about this job.  He's not invested; it doesn't mean much to him.  John is one of the hardest working people you will ever meet.  His job might not seem illustrious or significant, but he does it with all his might.  John has the attitude that if you are going to do something, you should do it well.  John really is the backbone of our department.

There have been a few situations recently that have illustrated the difference in character of these two men.  One example is Blizzard Day.  I'm still mad at how my boss handled Blizzard Day.  He showed no leadership, no planning, no thinking.  He was just winging it.  Blizzard Day was total chaos.  There was not a clear method of communication with the staff or with our customers.  It turned out that only about 7 out of 20+ people came to work that day.  It was crazy busy, we had no idea what was going on, and each of us was doing the work of 4 people.  As you might imagine, we didn't have time for a lunch break.  One of the doctors ordered pizza, and it was made VERY CLEAR that the pizza was ONLY for doctors.  The rest of us were strictly forbidden to eat any.  My boss Rob happened to be sitting at the desk when my loudmouth co-worker Marlene walked up and said, "How come nobody told me we had pizza?!?  Here i am starving with no lunchbreak and you guys have pizza!!!"  To which we said, "Oh no honey, we aren't eating any pizza.  It's only for doctors."  She said to Rob, "Well where's our pizza?!?"

Rob said, and i only wish you could hear the tone of his voice (it was the tone of someone who is lying in order to look good), "Oh i tried, i really tried to order pizza for you guys, but no one is delivering today because of the snow."

We all knew that someone was delivering because there were three pizzas in the conference room at that very minute.

Rob just flat out didn't care.

John, on the other hand, after witnessing these events, snuck off to the cafeteria and bought more than a dozen cookies.  With his own money.  He brought them back, set them on the desk, and said, "I know you guys are really hungry so i got you some cookies.  It's not a lot but hopefully it will tide you over for a little while."

It still brings tears to my eyes because it was so thoughtful.  Here we have the man who is the least showing more concern than the man who is the greatest.  The man who is the least was going above and beyond in order to help out his team.  The man who is the least noticed a problem, and did his part to fix it.

Since that day, Rob has continued to be incompetent and making excuses for it.  He FINALLY ordered the combo printer\copy machine we've needed forever, but he didn't arrange for anyone to install it.  The delivery man took away the old printer (that didn't copy) and put the new printer-copier in its place, but no one from the Computer Nerd department set up the printer with the 3 computers.  So we went from having a printer that didn't copy to having a copier that didn't print.  Every day for 2 weeks, Rob assured everyone, "Don't worry! I talked to IT and they're sending someone."

Meanwhile, John continues to serve those around him.  We have free coffee at my job, but it isn't good coffee.  Personally, i ain't too proud for free coffee, but many of my coworkers are coffee snobs and refuse to drink it.  They were spending a great deal of money on the Starbucks in the lobby.  Someone found a really cool coffee-making contraption.  I can't really describe it to you.  It's sort of like a french press, but it isn't.  I don't actually know what its official name is.  The important features are that it doesn't use electricity, but it's easier to clean up than a french press.  It doesn't take up much space.  Anyway, Debbie is the ring-leader of the new coffee club.  She brought the contraption and left it in the pantry for anyone to use.  People take turns bringing in their favorite coffee.  Once the coffee club got going, people started bringing in fancy creamers.  Now a few people have their own mug, rather than the styrofoam cups.  It has really blossomed into quite the sophisticated operation.  The drawback though, is that it now takes up a lot of space.  The benefit of the contraption was that you could store it easily.  But now we have to store the contraption, several mugs, different brands of coffee, and containers of creamer.  Well John is in charge of the pantry.  He orders the supplies and keeps it maintained.  He cleared off a shelf for all the coffee supplies, and sweet-talked the secretary into letting him borrow the label maker.  He made an "Olson Cafe" label for the shelf and put all the paraphernalia there.  Then he christened the new shelf by bringing his 80 year old mother's homemade pound cake, which is amazingly delicious with coffee. 

I recognize that having a shelf labeled "Olson Cafe" doesn't sound like much to you.  But if you could spend a day in my work environment you would see that it is a very big deal to us.  In this job we have no voice.  Our customers take advantage of us all the time.  They yell at us, they make sexually inappropriate comments, they cross the line.  Our boss and the people above him make strict rules without our input.  They dictate how we do our jobs, when they don't actually know what our jobs are.  So the Olson Cafe is the only thing that is our own.  The Olson Cafe is how we take care of each other.  It's how we share our generosity.  Of the entire 6th floor, that one shelf in the pantry is the only place where we make the rules.

In the Olson kingdom, Rob is the greatest.  But in the Olson Cafe, John is the king.
 

The Professor

 

Some Things Do In Fact Need To Cook Forever

I'm really into kale these days.

I told you about that delicious and life-changing meal that my friend Laura made, steak and greens.  It completely turned things around for me.  I'd heard a lot of buzz about kale and how awesome it is for you, and i aspired to be able to eat it, but i just couldn't.  Then Laura showed me the way.

This is my eating lifestyle: once a week i make a huge pot of really nutritious soup.  Then I live off of it for several days.  It's perfect for the days i work, when i get home late and am STARVING.  I'm like Esau, i would gladly sell my birthright for a hot meal.  But you don't want to eat something heavy when it's late and you'll be going right to bed, so soup is perfect.

For the past few weeks now, i have included leafy greens in my life-soup.  It sounds like I'm trying to sell you something, but I'm telling you the truth in that i can tell a difference in my health.  I just feel better.  Also, i generally have a lot of digestive issues.  The main problem is that i'm lactose intolerant, but non-compliant.  I frequently cheat and eat dairy, and boy do i pay for it afterwards.  It's weird though, sometimes i have tummy trouble even when i didn't eat dairy.  Since i've been eating leafy greens, my GI tract has felt awesome!

The recipe for Steak and Greens says to simmer for 45 minutes.  At first i thought, "Oh come on, is that really necessary?"  I simmered it for 30 minutes and the greens were tough, so i submitted and gave it the full 45 minutes.  It's a Paula Deen recipe.  She's a Southern cook, and the reason i was suspicious is because Southerners cook the heck out of everything.  I know this from personal experience.  My Granny (hi Granny!) cooks her green beans until they are 5 seconds away from disintegrating.  If she cooked them any longer, they would turn to dust right there in the pot.  One year at Thanksgiving, Granny had cooked her green beans for a couple of hours at home before coming over to our house.  Then she cooked them some more.  When her back was turned, my Daddy would turn the stove off.  Granny would notice several minutes later and think, "What in the world?  Why are the beans off?"  and would turn them back on.  This went on a few times, off-on, off-on.  It was pretty funny.  Finally Granny got worked up and exclaimed, "What is going on here?!?"  and Daddy confessed. 

My friend Molly is a major foodie, and an awesome cook.  She and I have had many a discussion about overcooked vegetables.  When you are cooking something like broccoli or green beans, they turn a beautiful bright green.  Most people keep cooking them past that point, and their color turns dark and dull.  Molly and i prefer veggies in that bright green stage.

After i had already eaten several batches of kale, i read that you have to steam it in order to obtain all the nutrients.  If you boil it, it loses the anti-cancer properties.  Well that was disappointing, here i was thinking i was being so healthy when in fact i wasn't getting all the nutrients i thought.  So this week i steamed the kale separately from the rest of my soup.  When it was ready to eat, i spooned the greens into my bowl and served the soup on top of it.

Turns out, Granny's method is better in certain circumstances (i said *certain* circumstances).  I never thought i would say it, but the kale was more palatable when it was cooked forever.  As much as i loved the bright green color of steaming, it was too chewy.  Nevertheless, i will stubbornly proceed with the steaming.  Why would you eat something like kale if you aren't going to get tons of health benefits?

Another interesting thing i found out is that kale is a Northern green.  My Grandmother told me this.  She grew up in the South, eating things like collard greens and turnip greens, but never kale.  I decided that i'm going to stay true to my heritage and switch to collard greens.  Fortunately, kale and collard greens are siblings, so they have the same nutrients.  I know that you are supposed to eat locally sourced produce as part of a green lifestyle, but i'm going to eat collards anyway.  It's not like i'm demanding fresh lychees or bok choy.  And who knows?  Maybe collard greens taste good steamed.
 

What the BabyGirl Ate Today

You might say that the BabyGirl is what they call a "good eater".  She eats all kinds of stuff.  Today the BabyGirl had a particularly well-balanced diet.  She ate the following:

The kitties were pretty jealous about this one, because they found it first so it was supposed to be theirs.

Um, don't tell the Professor about this one.

Little pieces of carpet from the cheap rug in the foyer.  These are her absolute favorite, and a constant source of animosity between the two of us.  She never gives up putting them in her mouth, and i never give up fishing them out.

You think i would learn my lesson by now, because this is what she ate late week:

Cat food.  The kitties were upset about this one too.

Coke.  The Professor and I both grew up in Coca Cola Headquarters, so our progeny has a genetic predisposition towards it.  I think that if you were to put the Professor's blood into a centrifuge, it would separate into blood cells, plasma, and Coke.  Nonetheless, i think the BabyGirl is a bit young to start a Coke habit.

So the moral of the story is clear.  You have to watch that BabyGirl like a hawk.

  

The Gift of Delicious

My sister Kitty gave me the most awesome Christmas gift.  She gave me the gift of delicious.

I LOVE chai lattes.  If and when i go to Starbucks, i always get a chai latte.  My sister works at a great coffeeshop called Gusta Java, where the chai lattes are life-changing.  For example, Starbucks uses liquid chai concentrate, whereas Gusta Java uses real-live tea leaves.  The difference is quite distinctive.  I'll pretty much never be able to go to Starbucks again.

The trouble with this life-changing chai latte is that Gusta Java is located in Tennessee.  Drat!  I can't exactly go there regularly.  So she gave me the tea leaves for Christmas! 

Now i can make it myself!  Oh my gosh it's so good.  I just want to make a whole bathtub full of it.  It smells so wonderful.  I can hardly bring myself to throw the used tea away afterwards because it's such a precious commodity.  If you like chai tea too, then i have good news for you: you can buy it on amazon!  Here is the link.  Also, you can feel good about yourself because it's certified organic, fair trade, kosher, free range, farm raised, BPA free (okay maybe a few of those are an exaggeration). 

I hope you enjoy it as much as i do!

 

Interesting Life Anecdotes: The Revolving Tupperware

Now that I've had a BabyGirl, I have read a lot of information on the topic of sleep that i never would have read otherwise.  One fact i remember reading is that we each have our own biorhythm that we are born with (i know what you're thinking: wow! rocket science! never would have guessed that one!).  Duh, it's true, we all know some people are early birds and some are night owls.

Well, I'm a night owl.  I always get a burst of energy at night.  I am at my top performance when i can stay up til about midnight and sleep til 9am.  I really don't even settle into a good sleep until after 6am.  Anyway, i got home from the day's activities and had a hankering to write.  Except i couldn't think of a single topic.  I thought and thought; no success.  I was washing dishes for about 30 minutes, and promptly at 9:30pm my mind was filled with about 4 different topics.  I find myself in this position frequently.  I want to write so bad right at bedtime.

So here's the story already.  After the BabyGirl was born and i had so many problems, my friend Laura, who is an amazing cook, made me some lentil soup (which i love).  Some of it i ate and some i put in the freezer for later.  Once later came, i ate it, and then the tupperware sat on my kitchen counter for (no lie) 2 months.  I kept meaning to bring it to church to give it back to her, or take it with me to her house.  I mean, i see her frequently so it was pretty pathetic that i couldn't return her tupperware. 

Then finally i remembered it on Craft Day when we made the adorable penguin.  After such a long time i was embarrassed that i still had it, so i filled it up with trail mix as a decoy.  On that day we were crafting away and needed an afternoon snack, so i said triumphantly, "I brought trail mix!"  I got it out of my bag and set it out on the table and we munched happily while we crafted.  I conveniently left out the part about "I brought trail mix IN YOUR TUPPERWARE."  My plan was to "forget" to take it home with me.  I hoped that it would blend in with all her other tupperwares, since it looks exactly like her other tupperwares, since it is her tupperware.  And she would just put in in her tupperware cabinet without even paying attention.  Or, if she did think it was my tupperware, she would be like me and forget to return it for 2 months.

Well, my plan failed.  Turns out she's way better than me at returning tupperwares.  Less than two weeks later she returned it to me FILLED WITH DELICIOUS HOMEMADE COOKIES.  Oh the shame.  Not only did she return it in a timely manner, she made cookies.  Fabulous cookies, with oatmeal and almonds.  And now, here i am again with the same stinkin' tupperware i could barely return in the first place!  I was so happy to finally get that sucker off my kitchen counter, and now it's back.  Each time it changes hands, the stakes get higher.  Lentil soup, then store-bought trail mix, then yummy cookies.  I'm pretty much going to have to fill it with champagne when i give it back to her.