Feel a Prayer

There was a place in the Big City where the presence of God hung a little lower than usual. Low enough that it extended down from heaven and touched the world of mortal men. Do you know of such places?

There are certain locations on the earth that possess a mysterious power to still the mind, calm the heart, and fill the soul. You don't have to work at it to commune with God in these places. Like Anne of Green Gables says, you just "feel a prayer."

The Lake was this type of place. The Lake was Father to all. It was a soft teddy bear; a silky scarf; a tender kiss between righteousness and peace. In the midst of urban apartment life with voices constantly beneath, above, and beside you, the Lake was quiet. It was our backyard oasis.

When something was pressing heavy on your mind, you went to the Lake to think about it. When you were joyful and needed a place to celebrate, you went to the Lake. When you wanted to experience the bonds of deep friendship, you met up at the Lake.

The Professor and i went there all the time. We went together, to walk hand-in-hand and talk of many things. We went alone, to think, feel, or pray. Without that sacred place, life in the city would have been soul-crushing.

When we moved to the Kingdom of the Cornstalks, one of the first orders of business was to find a new Lake. Another place that fulfilled the same purpose. It seemed natural that Cornstalk River would be to the Kingdom of the Cornstalks what the Lake was to the Big City.

Wrong.

The locals feared Cornstalk River. Whereas the Lake demonstrated the gentle, loving nature of God, Cornstalk River exhibited His fearsomeness. Cornstalk River was not a tame lion. Three years before we arrived, Cornstalk River had flooded and caused significant damage. The city was JUST starting to rebuild but wasn't sure if it could open its heart to the River again. Cornstalk River was a place where angels feared to tred.

After sadly crossing Cornstalk River off the list of possible God-places, i searched for new ideas. Except, i couldn't find anything. I could not for the life of me figure out how people could live like this??? WHERE ON EARTH do they take their hearts to be renewed?

At long last, after living here for six years, i found it! I found the God-place!

Unfortunately, it is somewhat remote and not easily accessible. To get to the Lake, all we had to do was walk east for one block. The new God-place is off of a hiking trail in a state park.

On our family adventure today, we went hiking in a new place. We could see a glorious-looking bank on a river, but had to work hard to find a way to get to it. After veering off the path and cutting through some vines, we made it! And the instant we stepped foot on the riverbank, we felt the magic. The air, the sky, the enchantment—it was all there. Sunny and Bright Eyes felt it. Dimples was having the kind of day where being two years old was a little too distressing, but i know she will feel it in time. While we were there, time froze and our cares melted away. When it was time to leave, we all felt refreshed.

No wait, i take that back. We all felt EXHAUSTED! The trek back was a very steep uphill climb. The ever-energetic Sunny and Bright Eyes ran up ahead, but soon they too were huffing and puffing. Dimples was riding in the Ergo on The Professor's back and said, "This is hard work!" You know a trail is hard when even being carried on it is difficult!

We arrived at the van sweaty and thirsty with hearts pumping from exercise. And yet, here is evidence that the God-place was real: no one was grumpy! The car ride home was filled with people living in that satisfaction that comes from a meaningful experience.

It remains to be seen if this new God-place can take a permanent place in my life due to its remoteness. But at least for that one time, i could breathe the free air. One day, the dwelling place of God will be with His people. He will wipe away their tears and make all the sad things come untrue. Until that day, i hope to find more places where God comes down and walks with men in the cool of the day.

In the Garden
(Grandma Mac's favorite hymn)

I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses
and the voice i hear, falling on my ear
the Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me
and He tells me i am His own
and the joy we share as we tarry there
none other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet, the birds hush their singing
and the melody that He gave to me
within my heart is ringing.

I'd stay in the garden with Him,
though the night around me be falling
but He bids me go, through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.

Celebrating a Difficult Kindergarten Year

You may recall that Sunny had a great deal of trepidation on her first day of kindergarten. Thanks to the encouragement and prayers of family members, she bravely went through with it. What we didn't know on that first day was that the same Bible verse of "be strong and courageous" as well as the motivation of "you can do this!" would be required not just on the first day, but throughout the entire year.

Someone came up with a rule that on your child's first day of school, you are supposed to take a picture of them by your front door holding a chalkboard sign that says (in fancy lettering, of course) "First day of Kindergarten 2016." Naturally your child will be dressed in the latest back-to-school fashions with their hair styled perfectly. The whole point of this is to subsequently share the photo on social media.

Well, we broke the rule. Mornings do not agree with Sunny and i, so there was no expertly styled hair nor was there any spare time for pictures by our front door. Instead we hopped in the car with oatmeal residue still on her face and zoomed like escaped convicts to the school so that she wouldn't be late on her first day.

The same rule applies to the last day of school, except on the last day you have two options. You can either 1) retake another picture in the same spot as the first day and collage the two side-by-side to illustrate how much your child has grown, or 2) take a picture of your child hugging his/her kindergarten teacher with glowing smiles on both their faces. Option Number Two also involves a write-up about how wonderful the teacher was and how thankful you are for his/her role in influencing your child for good.

For a couple of weeks in May/June, facebook is filled with these end-of-the-year pictures. When i saw people posting pictures from Option Number Two, it really got to me. The reason it affected me was because the image of a happy, hardworking teacher hugging a beaming, fulfilled child was the exact opposite of our experience.

Sunny's first year of school was a huge challenge. She herself thankfully didn't know how difficult it was because she had nothing to compare it to. My problem was that i had way too much to compare it to. I don't remember my kindergarten teacher, but i sure remember the teacher i had in first grade. She was a legend. She was the epitome of everything a godly teacher should be. She was nurturing, caring, and wonderfully soft to hug. It's as if when God invented the job description of a loving first grade teacher, she was the prototype He used to build all the others.

I attended a private Christian school and Sunny is in public school, so of course i didn't expect her teacher to be exactly the same as a Christian teacher. But i did at the very least think that a kindergarten teacher would behave like someone who likes young children.

A couple of months into the school year, i found out that our school is a struggling, over-crowded, low-performing Title I school. I learned that the teachers were all horribly burnt out and exhausted. I could look in their eyes and see that on some days they wanted to quit on the spot. There are way more children with issues than can be accommodated. A couple of times a month, one of the troubled kids in Sunny's class would have a violent outburst of aggression that resulted in either physical damage to the classroom or physical injury to other students.

So when i was faced with other families' joyful pictures on the last day of school, i decided that we needed to have a major celebration. Sunny's kindergarten experience was awful but you know what? SHE DID IT. She made it through. Every day she returned to a room full of crisis, anxiety, and yelling. We all made it through, because it took a lot out of the Professor and I too. Because she wasn't aware of how tough her school conditions were, she wasn't aware of how admirable her perseverance was.

We kept the whole thing a surprise. The Professor picked her up from school while Bright Eyes and i set everything up (with Dimples following around trying to undo all our work). There were balloons, posters, noise blower things, and confetti. We sat in the front yard straining our eyes to catch a glimpse of the car coming down the street. As soon as they were in range, we held the posters up high and went to town on our noise blowers. The Professor pulled into the driveway and when Sunny got out of the car we cheered and threw confetti into the air.

At times she can hate being the center of a big fuss but i could tell she was touched. I feel confident that our little family party communicated what i wanted it to: that she is special and we are all behind her.

Who knows what her first grade year will hold, but i am so proud of her and thankful that the Lord carried her through that experience.

Confetti face 

 Dimples and Sunny

Posters

Maiden Voyage of the New Van

We are now the proud owners of a minivan! We bought a van from the good people at Warehouse Auto and then promptly put that sucker to work driving 2,458 miles on a big ole Christmas road trip.

Taking two small kids on a trip of that magnitude was a huge undertaking that required weeks of preparation. It had been two years since we last visited our homeland in Dixieland, and we were more than ready to go back! Bright Eyes had several great-grandparents who were anxious to meet her for the first time.

The trip was both the best of times and the worst of times, as is typical of long-awaited events of that nature. It was exhausting and draining on all of us to be on the road so much. However, in the midst of so many travel difficulties were periods of great joy. When we could finally sit still and just be, it was sheer bliss. The beach is always a great place for being. Our time there was very restorative.

Our girls saw the ocean for the first time and flew a kite for the first time. The BabyGirl bonded with Granny over biscuits and Bright Eyes established a connection with Granddaddy over apple slices. We breathed in the sweet sea air. We ate tons of seafood and i actually liked raw oysters!

The beach is a very, VERY long way from the Kingdom of the Cornstalks, so we were fortunate to have the opportunity to go there. It was a special time that i will always remember. It was a true vacation in that our usual cares and concerns about day-to-day struggles were exchanged for beautiful scenery and meaningful relationships. And the food! Granny's cornbread, Kay's turkey, my dad's grouper sandwiches—the whole week was delicious!

After a week at the beach, we continued our trek to spend a week with The Professor's family. Our time there was a blur of go, go, go to see as many family members as possible. Lare & Amy were so hospitable to have a big group over to dinner with children running around all over the place. We had Christmas festivities at The Judge's house with kids frantically tearing into presents. Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Lou had us over for a wonderful visit in their home. We were delighted to see Grandmother in her new assisted living apartment. Allison helped me get caught up on Top Chef, and our girls played with their cousins to their hearts' content.

When it comes down to it, an undertaking of this level is simply not possible without a good deal of help. There were many people along the way who eased our burden by looking after us. We are so thankful to the people who took the time to notice our needs and lend us a hand.

For example: On our drive to Lare & Amy's house, we took a winding, curvy, hilly road. The Professor made the comment, "You don't see roads like this in the Kingdom of the Cornstalks!" Immediately from the backseat we heard the sound of poor Bright Eyes throwing up. She had never in her life driven on hills and curves, and she was not accustomed to the motion of it. We therefore arrived at our destination with a child covered in vomit. Amy dropped what she was doing to dig up some clean clothes for Bright Eyes to wear.

After dinner the kids were all playing and the BabyGirl asked me to come upstairs to help her with something. While i was up there, Amy came up to rotate some laundry. It struck me as kind of an odd time to be doing laundry while hosting a houseful of people, but ya know, whatever. I was actually pretty impressed with the multi-tasking she displayed; i would never have remembered about my laundry with all those people over.

When it was time for us to leave, she said, "Oh! Let me grab Bright Eyes' coat!" She presented us with a freshly-washed, vomit-free coat hot out of the dryer and smelling like lavender breeze. Turns out the load of laundry that i was criticizing her for was MY DAUGHTER'S COAT.

I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of it. She saved me so much hassle by washing it then and there. Also, that particular coat is special because it's been in the family for decades. I was so glad it had been washed promptly so that it didn't stain.

It was a small act of kindness that made such an impact.

Bright Eyes is in that stage of getting into EVERYTHING. It is so much fun because she is exploring non-stop and learning new things every moment. She has to get her hands on each new thing she sees: What does it feel like? What does it taste like? Can I bang it on the table?

I really love this age. The caveat, though, is that she has to be watched like a hawk 24-7. It requires a lot of energy to take her into someone else's home, where she grabs the glass ornaments off the Christmas tree, splashes in the cat's water bowl, digs through the trash, pulls on the table cloth, and knocks over every drinking glass she encounters. Uncle Stan was so attentive to our needs and made the experience of keeping up with her so much easier. I was trying to cut Bright Eyes' food into small pieces while holding wiggly, squiggly Bright Eyes in my lap at the dinner table. The task necessitated six hands. Stan saw me from across the room and came over to cut her food for me.

Throughout the evening, he continued to bring me things so that i didn't have to get up from my post of watching or holding Bright Eyes. I had mentioned that i like cashews, so he brought me cashews. He came to my seat to offer me coffee. When i said that i could only drink decaf at that time of night, he offered to make me decaf.

The job of watching Bright Eyes at a big family dinner is one that prohibits you from participating with the group. While everyone else is eating dinner, you are feeding her. While everyone else has dessert, you are in the other room changing a diaper. While everyone else is engaged in conversation, you are chasing her from room to room. Uncle Stan saw all that and made sure i wasn't alone.

I was so inspired by Uncle Stan. He serves everyone around him so effortlessly. It's truly a gift. I do not inherently possess this quality, but i long to develop it.

One of my favorite names of God is El Roi, the God Who Sees. In order to effectively help someone, you have to see their needs. Amy saw that Bright Eyes needed a clean coat to go home in. Uncle Stan saw that i couldn't take care of myself while keeping up with Bright Eyes. My dad saw that we could never afford a beach vacation.

So many people over the course of the two weeks saw our needs and met them. Things like that are what turn a grueling road trip into an experience of God's character.

Just Because It's Sunny, Doesn't Mean It's Warm

Easter this year was very hard. The week leading up to Easter was difficult, exhausting, draining, and painful. It was reminiscent of the suffering that Jesus Himself endured that week. Easter Sunday is supposed to be a joyful time of celebration, but we didn't feel like celebrating. Honestly, had it not been Easter Sunday, we would have stayed home from church because we just didn't have it in us. We were tired, worn, and broken.

But the truth of the matter is that tired, worn, and broken people are exactly why Jesus came to earth in the first place. So we took ourselves to church with gratitude for His sacrifice and with hope in His victory.

It was quite a task to get everyone dressed, primped, and beautified in time arrive at church 30 minutes early. Not our usual 10 minutes late, but EARLY. The minute we walked in the door, the BabyGirl spotted her best friend and kindred spirit, Addy. Addy was also wearing a purple dress and they made an adorable pair. Anytime the BabyGirl and Addy are together, a massive hugfest ensues. They embraced each other tightly and everyone around ooo-ed and ahh-ed. It was very sweet.

Since we went through the ordeal of getting all dressed up, gosh darn it i wanted some pictures to commemorate. And not just ordinary sitting-on-the-same-old-couch pictures. I wanted great pictures! Clearly, the place to take great Easter pictures is outside. Growing up, we always took pictures in our elaborate handmade Easter dresses standing in front of blooming azaleas, tulip trees, or daffodils.

Well, we don't have blooming azaleas here in the frozen tundra. But on that particular day we had abundant sunshine! With glorious sunlight, how can you go wrong? I herded all the younglings outside for some wonderful family photos. Once we got outside, the reality became obvious: it was freezing cold.

Bright Eyes was the first one to voice her opinion. She's never had an Easter before, so she wasn't aware of my childhood photo-taking traditions.

What's wrong with you people??? It's freezing out here!!!

What bothered the BabyGirl was the frigid wind. She complained, "I need a hat!!! My hair is blowing everywhere!!! I don't want my hair blowing!!!"

We all tromped back inside for warmer clothes, and then went out to try again.

It was short-lived, however. Eventually we had to face the facts and take pictures in the same place we always take pictures. The only spot in our entire house that has decent light is the living room couch.

Much better.

 

 

For Easter dinner, we were invited out into the country to visit the Griffiths. We had such a wonderful time! They have a beautiful home on 40 acres with a picturesque view in every direction. Their middle-school aged daughter Selena was so sweet and patient with the BabyGirl, helping her to feel comfortable in a new environment. Because we had such stimulating conversation, we stayed well past the girls' bedtime, a costly sacrifice that we don't make for just anyone. Our time together with them was so rejuvenating after our draining week.

 

My main disappointment was that i didn't get to do as much teaching with the BabyGirl during Holy Week as i wanted to. We weren't able to properly focus on Jesus' death and resurrection because of other issues going on. Yet somehow, she managed to absorb a lot and i'm so thankful! During the church service, in that quiet moment when the singing has finished and everyone just sat down, she exclaimed excitedly, "We're here because Jesus' boo-boos are all better!" And later at home she said to The Professor, "Silly Jesus! He needs to put His cross away when He is done with it!"

 

The next day we had some Christian music playing on Pandora. I don't even remember which song it was, but there was a line that said, "He is risen." The BabyGirl was so energetic, "They said 'He is risen' just like Jesus is risen!"

 

He is risen indeed!

 

 

Halloween Narrative

We had a blast trick-or-treating with the BabyGirl this year! She provided the most hilarious commentary on the other kids' costumes.

During the morning, i explained to her the basic protocol: "After dinner you will put on your costume and we'll go outside. We'll walk around to all the houses and ring the doorbell. Then people will open the door and you'll say, 'Trick or treat!' and . . ."

As i was speaking, she looked at me with an expression of extreme skepticism. Her face said, "What kind of crazy ideas has this woman come up with this time?"

I continued: ". . . they'll give you candy!"

Whoa, wait a minute. "CANDY?!?!?" That sure wiped the skepticism off her face.

"Oh yes, my friend. Candy."

She ran to her room and got her shoes. "Let's go now!"

Since she hadn't been paying attention for all the words that preceeded "candy," she hadn't heard that these events were to take place after dinner. This was a big hardship; she wanted to get the candy right now.

We did, however, go ahead and put on her daytime costume. She was a beautiful fairy princess. Mimi got her the pinkest, ruffliest, shimmeriest dress you could imagine and a pair of pink wings to go with it. She twirled and sashayed and pranced around the house displaying her elegance. She absolutely loved that dress! Unfortunately, she refused to allow me to take her picture, so you are going to have to take my word for it that she was very pretty.

Finally Daddy came home from work and we ate dinner and the long-awaited moment had come. She put on her nighttime costume of a tiger. It was cold out, and the princess dress was not warm enough. She would have had to wear her coat over the dress, in which case no one would see it. So she was a big fluffy tiger:

Bright Eyes got schlepped along for the ride. The only reason she is even halfway giving a smile is because at this point she had no idea what was going on:

We stepped outside right as a big clump of kids walked by. The BabyGirl was really excited now. "Girls!!!"

The trick-or-treating on our street is very profitable. Everyone else besides us is retired seniors who love having cute little kids come to their doors. The BabyGirl was a big hit! For the first few houses she was unsure of what was happening, but then she got the hang of it.

There was a boy with his dad who happened to be going at the same pace as us. We were about 30 seconds ahead of them, such that as we turned around to leave a house, they were walking up. This happened for many consecutive houses. The trouble, though, was that the boy's costume made the BabyGirl VERY nervous. I don't know if i can describe it very well. He was wearing all black, and his shirt had a green LED light-up outline of a body. His face was covered also and had the outline of big creepy eyes. Kind of like the standard alien face but not exactly.

The 4 of us were walking on the sidewalk when the boy and his dad passed us. They were understandably walking faster than us. I was in front with The Professor behind holding the BabyGirl's hand. She said, "Get here by me, Mama." She wanted Daddy on one side and Mama on the other to protect her from the alien boy. She kept a very close eye on the boy so she could monitor his movements. He was already at the door of the next house when we walked up. She made it very clear that we would wait for him to move along before we got any closer.

While we were standing a safe distance waiting for him to leave, she began to (very loudly) narrate what he was doing. "That guy is at the door."

"That guy is pressing the button."

"That guy is standing."

"That guy is getting candy."

The boy's dad was standing right next to us and had a good laugh over the BabyGirl's play-by-play. Eventually she said, "What's that guy called?"

Honestly i didn't know what to call his costume. I didn't know if it was a bona-fide character that i wasn't familiar with, or if it was just something he had made up. The boy's dad said, "Glow man." (Note: it was not the same as this. The concept was similar, but the shape was different.)

She resumed her narration. "Glow man is [with concern] walking THIS WAY!" Eek!

We asked her if she wanted to wait a minute to let Glow man get farther ahead. She wholeheartedly said yes. Later we were in proximity again and she said, "I will turn my head. I will not look at him." We affirmed her in her wise choice.

She got very excited when she saw costumes that she recognized. Cat in the hat! Coke can! We had gotten a late start, so we were out after the other small children had gone home and it was mostly older kids.

Then tragically, after we hit the last house and turned to go home, the BabyGirl tripped and fell. She dropped her bucket and candy scattered everywhere. It was so sad! She scraped her hands pretty good. Fortunately we successfully gathered up all the bounty. The Professor carried her home and we all celebrated the fun time we had together.
 

Happy ThirtyTWO!

Two weekends ago we celebrated The Professor's birthday. He is now thirty-two. The BabyGirl believes that he is just two, but we've been trying to convince her that he is actually thirty-two. She mostly doesn't buy it, but occasionally she'll say "firty-TWOOOO!!!" She herself turned two back in April, and at the time we worked so exuberantly to teach her that when people ask, "How old are you?" the answer is "TWOOO!!!" The trouble is, now she thinks that two is the answer when asking about everyone, not just herself.

Having a brand-new baby limited us somewhat in our celebrations; we weren't able to do anything super exciting. On The Professor's birthday eve we drove across town to the Dead Marshes Mall (it only has about 2 stores left and everything else is vacant—very creepy) to eat dinner at Chick-fil-A. You'd think that after so many years of living without Chick-fil-A that we would take advantage of this one and go there more often, but we don't. So it was a special treat.

Happy birthday, Professor!

There's a VIDEO in the kids' meal?!?

 

 

We both love Chick-fil-A lemonade!

Except it's incredibly sweet and potent and i forgot to ask them to dilute it. 

For a toddler, it's basically like crack. 

It was Bright Eyes' very first time at Chick-fil-A in her whole baby life!

You can see that it was quite an experience for her.

 

Another noteworthy thing about this birthday for The Professor was that it marked the half-life of his car. He has now had it for half of his life! He loves that car and it has treated him very well the past 16 years. They had a long-distance relationship for a long time while we lived in the Big City, but now are happily reunited.

The BabyGirl, Bright Eyes, and i are all extremely thankful for The Professor and so honored to have him in our lives. We love you, Professor!
 

Baby Mine

In the mom’s online discussion group that I’m a part of, my friend Emily shared a link to a post about “Your Children Want YOU!” It’s about being present instead of being pinterest. To be a mom who listens and loves. In the post, the author mentions her ritual of singing the song “Baby Mine” to her daughter every night. I thought, “Oh that’s so sweet! I love that song; I’ll sing it too.” I had to google the lyrics because I hadn’t heard it since I was 6 years old watching Dumbo. I couldn’t even read through the lyrics without bawling my eyes out. Oh dear, I thought, I’ll never be able to sing this song out loud if I can’t even read the lyrics silently!

At my next snuggle session with the BabyGirl, I decided to try it out. But I could only remember a line or two:

Rest your head close to my heart,

Never depart, baby of mine.

She said, “More,” so I sang it again. And again. And again. For several days, she would request, “Sing more Baby Mine,” and I would sing those two lines.

Those beautiful, timeless moments of snuggles and singing are what gives life to parenthood. At other times, however, things aren’t so well under our control. Being out of control leads to incapacitating Mom Worry.

At the BabyGirl’s 4 day check-up, the pediatrician found some concerning heart issues and sent us to the ER at Children’s for further testing. Well, the further testing was concerning too, so the ER visit turned into an ICU admission for a million-dollar cardiac workup. That night, after spending the entire day bouncing from doctor’s office to ER to ICU, we had to leave her there in the hospital. She was staying there alone, hooked up to wires and monitors. We were going home alone, without our bundle of joy.

We cried and prayed together and asked God to watch over her for us while we were away. I was terrified, that having endured the most grueling and traumatic birth of 90% of women I know, that I would lose her four days later.

Prior to having kids, I wasn’t too bothered by the cosmic questions of Why Do Things Happen. Issues like the problem of suffering, and to what extent does God control each event, were things that The Professor enjoyed wrestling with but didn’t hold my attention. Until I myself experienced suffering. Then I was plagued with all sorts of questions. Why did I have a difficult birth? Why was I in constant pain for months on end? Why did the BabyGirl have to spend a week in the ICU? What is God doing here? What is the point of this?

The thing of it is, my story isn’t the one that breeds questions. I have a friend whose twins were born 12 weeks early. Everyday she made a 3 hr round trip to the NICU to hold their fragile bodies in her arms and beg God that they would live. I worked with a nurse whose son had active hemophilia. One day she got a panicked call from the nanny and had to rush home to give him a blood transfusion. Another friend’s baby was born with a birth defect that required 4 surgeries before she was a year old. Another friend’s two sons had such severe learning disabilities and behavioral problems that she was constantly worried they’d be kicked out of another school.

Talk about Mom Worry! But it doesn’t even take extreme circumstances to ignite a bout of Mom Worry; the little things can do it too. Your infant chokes on something in the church nursery. Your toddler runs out into the street. Your child stands a little too close to the edge of a bridge. And then, oh my heavens, they turn into teenagers.

Mom Worry is everywhere. Some people face it earlier than others. For some it strikes in early pregnancy. Others don’t encounter it until after the baby is born. And others may not fully experience it until years later. But I think we all suffer from it.

In all my time of grappling with the big questions of Why, I keep coming back to this verse:

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

May the name of the Lord be praised.

This baby of mine? She isn’t really mine. She is a gift from the Lord. He gave her to me, and I am honored to be her steward. But if I believe that this world isn’t my home, then it’s not her home either. If I am temporary here, then she is temporary here.

Our pastor has been preaching through Genesis, and we just studied the account of Leah and Rachel. Poor Leah was unloved and unwanted, but the Lord blessed her with children. With each son that she bore, she thought she would find the fulfillment that she sought. It took her until the fourth son, Judah, to be able to say, “This time I will praise the Lord.”

That’s how I am; too knuckleheaded to learn a lesson the first three times. When I imagine her story, I think about all the things outside her control. She was forced to marry a man who didn’t want her. She had to then share that man with her sister. She thought having a son would make him love her. She thought having two and three sons would make him love her. But finally, she saw the truth: I can control nothing in this life. All I can do is praise the Lord.

for Sarah K

First Date

The Professor and i went on a date last night! It was our first date in a looooonnnng time. Before we moved, our dear friend Sue was our babysitter. But you know how it is when you're starting out in a new town. It takes a while to trust anyone enough to let them babysit your precious BabyGirl.

Our friends Matt and Carrie heard that we hadn't been on a date since we moved to the Kingdom of the Cornstalks and were apalled. Even though they have three kids of their own, they demanded to babysit one night so that we could go out.

On the morning of the designated day, i started preparing the BabyGirl. "Guess what, BabyGirl? Mama is going on a Daddy Date!! Miss Carrie is going to come play with you! It will be so much fun! You're such a lucky girl to have Miss Carrie come play!"

The BabyGirl looked at me with wide eyes and said, "[Gulp] Scary???"

That's when i realized that "Miss Carrie" could sound a lot like "Scary." So we switched to calling her by her last name, as the BabyGirl is going through a major scary phase right now.

A second reason why The Professor and i hadn't been on a date in a long time was lack of funds. Fortunately, now we had an Outback gift card and a $20 off coupon to Applebee's.

At this point, let it be known that i don't like Applebee's. It's not a place that i would ever want to go, especially for such a special occasion as Our First Date in a Long Time. But we had recently been to Outback and i wasn't in the mood for it again so soon. Therefore, Applebee's it was. I decided to just focus on the excitement of an evening out and overlook the fact that it had to take place at a lousy restaurant.

What was lacking in the quality of the meal we made up for in conversaton. I love talking with The Professor! He's a pretty smart guy. I would submit that few can rival him in critical thinking. His well-trained mind, cultivated by years of grueling study, can quickly dissect any topic. We talked about this:

http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/christian-teens-say-gay-activist-made-girls-cry.html

and this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/fashion/at-family-meals-children-encouraged-to-take-part-in-the-conversation.html?_r=4&pagewanted=1&adxnnlx=1335657810-KkHcbHXo6A6hDQZDF3h5Iw

At the end of our dinner when the waitress brought the check, The Professor handed her our $20 voucher plus a credit card to cover the rest.

A minute later she was back. "Um, i hate to tell you this," she said, holding out our voucher, "but this is for Chili's."

I busted out laughing.

The ONLY reason we stepped foot in that establishment was because of the voucher. The Professor was the one who had acquired it. He had kept up with it until the proper time. He was the one who told me that it was for Applebee's. Not that i love Chili's, but i would certainly prefer it over Applebee's. He felt so bad.

Even if we did have to throw away money on sorry food with 3000 mg of sodium, i'm still thankful for some quality time with The Professor!

And apparently Miss Carrie wasn't so scary after all. This morning when the BabyGirl woke up, one of the first things she said was, "Carrie come back!"

A Geriatric, Pediatric, and Obstetric Vacation

This week was The Professor's spring break. His Uncle Stan and Aunt Vicky thoughtfully invited us to meet up with them in the cute town of Galena. We had the most wonderful time! Honestly, it was the most relaxing and refreshing vacation we'd had in YEARS. It's not very often that all the details work out so perfectly to provide you with the optimal vacationing experience. There were a few things that made this trip so great.

First of all, we had a nice, leisurely pace. Uncle Stan and Aunt Vicky, though definitely spry and vivacious, are well advanced in years. They have passed the point of pushing themselves to see\do every little thing on vacation. They were content to go out, and they were content to stay in. It worked out perfectly with the BabyGirl's nap\bedtime regimen. When it was time for her nap, we simply went back to the hotel and napped. No one was concerned about the experiences we might be missing out on. It also worked out perfectly for me, aka the pregnant lady of the group. I wasn't moving very fast; neither were Stan and Vicky. I needed to sit down every so often; so did Stan and Vicky. It was great!

Secondly, we had the most beautiful weather! It was very odd for mid-March. Usually at this time of year, you would expect snow. Instead, it was 70 degrees with blue skies! We spent every possible moment outside. Even just BEING outside was vacation in and of itself. Sitting on a bench in the sunshine was all the recreation we needed. Well, except for the BabyGirl, that is. She loves being outside, but she isn't content to just sit still on a bench. She ran her little heart out. She ran and ran and ran some more. The poor Professor had to chase her all over the place. We were visiting the home of Ulysses S. Grant (whom the GPS liked to call "Ulysses South Grant"), which had an enormous yard for the BabyGirl to run around. When it came time to leave there and head to our next event, the BabyGirl thew a fit getting into the car. Finally we told her that we were going to "Another outside," and she was okay with that. And because she played hard during the day, she also slept hard at night.

Another component of Optimal Vacation was our hotel. Uncle Stan and Aunt Vicky booked it through their timeshare deal. We had a spacious suite with a living room, kitchen, and separate bedroom. The beauty of this is that the BabyGirl didn't have to sleep in the same room with us! Praise the Lord! Sleeping in the same room as that child is disastrous. Disastrous for her, disastrous for us, disastrous for everyone in the building, and everyone on that street. For the first time in her whole little life, she slept beautifully while in a new place. It was truly a miracle.

And finally, the food. OH THE FOOD. Back when i lived in the Big City, i was totally a snob about other city's restaurants. Now i live the middle of nowhere with terrible, awful restaurants. Incidentally, Stan and Vicky are in the same situation. They have travelled the world and eaten all sorts of unique things, but now they live in a podunk town with no decent restaurants. All of us were so excited to eat good food. Thankfully, there was plenty of it! We went to a Greek steakhouse and ate, quite possibly, the best steak of our lives. If not the best, then definitely in the top 3. Each of us had to think long and hard if we'd ever had a better steak. We enjoyed it so much that we went back 2 nights later to try the lamb. Also, throughout our stay we kept to a Two Desserts Per Day Program. It was heaven! If BabyGirl#2 ends up with a sweet tooth, i think we can blame it exclusively on the amount of in utero dessert she ate on this trip.

At the end of the trip, when we were all saying our goodbyes, Stan made the comment, "Well, we had two goals for this trip, and i think we accomplished them!" The Professor and i were both confused. Goals? I don't remember discussing any goals.

He said, "The two goals were for Vicky and I to get to know the BabyGirl, and to spoil you three as much as possible."

In that case, yes, they did accomplish their goals! They paid for EVERYTHING for us. We didn't spend a dime. The steak, the lamb, the two-a-day desserts—they paid for it all. They wined-and-dined us like kings. We resorted to all sorts of trickery to attempt to pay for things, and our efforts were always thwarted. It was so generous and so loving of them. I'll always remember their kindness.

These past few months, The Professor and i have been the recipients of some truly astounding acts of generosity. I knew before, but now believe so strongly that grace is powerful. A gift like Stan and Vicky's, that was completely unmerited, and that we could never hope to repay, is so deeply moving. It inspires me all the more to live a life worthy of the calling i have received. Like Jean Valjean, to use this gift to become an honest man.

I want to be as giving as Uncle Stan and Aunt Vicky. They have their own children and their own grandchildren. They didn't have to take us on vacation; they could have very easily spent that money on a trip with their grandchildren. I don't know why the Lord put it on their hearts to spoil us, but they certainly went to it with gusto!

 

Five Things That Happened This Week

This entry is mostly just for my own personal use, to help me remember my life.  It's not funny so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

1.  The Professor's family was here.  It was MLK weekend so they came for a visit.  On Sunday they were hanging out in Zion so the 3 of us drove up there after church.  We ate, hung out, and watched the Bears game.  On Monday i was at work but the Professor and the BabyGirl went back up to Zion again.

2.  The Professor's classes started.  Time for a new semester!  His schedule is pretty grueling this time.  He teaches on Tues\Thurs, but his classes are spread out across 2 separate campuses, so there is extra diving.  He teaches a night class on Thursdays and doesn't get home until 10:30pm.  He told me that he has a long story about this week, but i haven't heard it yet.

3.  The BabyGirl and i went to a new playgroup.  It was very fun!  She loved crawling around and exploring new things.  One drawback, though, is that she frequently had a paparazzi of preschool age kids around her.  She would have preferred them to leave her alone so she could do her own thing.  One 5-year old boy kept taking toys right out of her hand.  I got so irritated.  Dude, you are 5!  What interest do you have in Sophie the Giraffe???  Stop taking it from her!

4.  The BabyGirl entered a Difficult Phase.  You know how it is with babies.  There are a few weeks of stability where they are happy and delightful, and then you have a few weeks of growth and development that makes them cranky and irritable.  We had been experiencing an extended phase of bliss.  She was a perfect little angel, and everyone said so.  Well, now it's time for another leap, and she's being really touchy.  We'll love her through it, and i'm sure she'll be great again when it's over.

5.  I had Esther Night with Laura and Audrey.  Laura is so generous to always cook us a fabulous meal for our Friday Night Bible Study.  The weather was bitterly cold, and we had a hearty appetite like mountain bears before hibernation.  Laura made steak 'n greens by Paula Deen, and it was sooooo yummy.  There were 3 kinds of greens.  I forget what she told us, but something along the lines of kale, mustard greens, and chard?  I believe strongly in the IDEA of greens, but i struggle sometimes with the reality of them.  These were delicious.  I ate myself silly.  And then we had chocolate cake by Audrey.  We also enjoyed wonderful conversation.  We laughed, we cried, we bared our souls.  Poor Tripp was banished to his bedroom for several hours.  Thank you Tripp for sacrificing your Friday night for us!

 

Snow Day Narrative

We had a very fun impromptu snow day on Sunday.

It wasn't the snow that was imprompu, it was what we did with the day.  It came as no surprise that it snowed.  It snows a lot here.  What was a surprise was that it was practically a blizzard.  I woke up that morning at 7am (thank you BabyGirl) and checked the weather online.  It predicted 30 degrees with light snow.  No big deal.  I looked out the window and it wasn't snowing.  Appeared to be a regular day.  I didn't bundle up, and i wore cute shoes.

The minute i stepped out the front door, it became clear that this was NOT "light snow".  My cute shoes were not appropriate for the conditions.  We already had 2 inches of snow on the ground.  The Professor and I had divided the labor, so my job was to go out and warm up the car while he put the BabyGirl into her fuzzy suit and strapped her in the 50 pound carseat.  As soon as i got outside i was attacked by the massive wind.  Our car was only 30 feet away, and i could barely walk to it for being blown so hard.  I couldn't breathe in the wind.  The task of "warming up the car" now included scraping the snow off.  Of course the snow that i swiped off got blown right into my face.  Ugh, it was so miserable.  No born-and-bred Southerner should experience conditions like this.  I laughed out loud at how ludicrous it was.  I tried to open the car door, but it was frozen shut.  Fortunately i yanked harder and it opened a little, but the wind was blowing against it so i had a hard time getting it out far enough to get in.

We managed to get all of us in the car and sped off to church.  I'm always running a few minutes late anyway, and we hadn't budgeted the extra time for wind and snow.  Also, the roads hadn't been cleared because it's Sunday, so driving was treacherous and we had to go slow.  We made it to church and had to do the whole routine in reverse.  The Professor dropped me off with the BabyGirl and then went to find somewhere to park.  On the drive i had told him, "you know what, we'll just pay to park at a meter today.  I think the blizzard justifies paying to park."  And then when we arrived we remembered that you can't park on that street when the snow is over 2 inches.  BOO. 

I walked into church and saw Peter and Hana!  Yes, she did email me a few weeks ago to say they would be in town, but i completely forgot until that moment.  After church we tried to figure out lunch plans with them plus Tripp and Laura.  It was pretty funny.  There were a lot of limitations to balance.  3 hungry babies, tons of snow, each of us in our own car with a carseat, Tripp had to count, and nobody delivers north of Howard.  Finally we got it to work out.  We ordered Shabuka take-out and went to Tripp\Laura's place.

The snow and wind had continued all during church, so it was truly nasty out.  Peter and Hana had planned to drive back home that afternoon, but the weather was even worse in their town, so they had to stay another night and go back the next day.  Once The Professor and I got inside Tripp\Laura's, we kinda wanted to stay until the next day too!

We ate Shabuka, which was dee-licious!  Oh so yummy.  Tripp forgot about his naan until he had finished all his food, and had nothing to dip it in.  The Professor had lots of leftover sauce that he'd eaten the chicken out of, so he offered it to Tripp, which made him so happy.  Now that we were dry, inside, and had full tummies, we were cozy and content.  The Professor and I had originally planned to get a lot of housework done that afternoon, but the chance to spend a snow day hanging out with friends was much more alluring.

The guys watched the Bears game while the women played Settlers of Catan.  You see, we used to be really big Settlers of Catan people.  We played it all the time.  Now that each of us have babies, we haven't played in forever.  It was nice to pick it up again after a long absence, but it definitely wasn't competitive like the old days.  We had to stop midway through to feed all the babies.  When we came back to it, Laura won!!!  It was her first ever Catan victory.  Congratulations Laura!

I'll have to say, this snow day was very nice.  It isn't often that life slows down for snow.  The way i was raised, the least little bit of snow brought all of civilization to a halt.  You dropped what you were doing, no matter what it was, and went sledding.  Yes you could still see the green grass thru the light dusting of snow, but you went sledding anyway.  It's not like that here.  Here you get 4 feet of snow and you still go to work.  You put on your boots and go about your business.  But today, The Professor and I threw our plans to the wind.  We stayed inside to play games and watch football.  We put relationships first.

Thanksgiving Narrative

Here is the account of what we did for Thanksgiving.  Much less because you want to know, rather more of a time-capsule record so that in 20 years when The Professor and I ask each other, "what did we do for Thanksgiving in 2010?" we can come here and find out.

Will life as we know it still exist in 20 years?  Will Blogspot still exist?  Who knows.

This year's Thanksgiving was great.  The Professor and I had talked about going up north to see his uncle\cousins\grandpa.  But as the time drew near, we each individually began to get disillusioned with the idea.  I was going to have to work at 6:45am the next day, so we weren't going to be able to stay very late.  And the thing with that crowd is that everything runs at least an hour behind schedule.  So if they say they will eat at 3pm, it's really 4.  So we started picturing the vast load of BabyGirl gear required for a daytrip, and then realized we'd have to bolt right out of there after wiping the last morsel from the corner of our mouths, and the plan lost its appeal.  We LOVE the people up there.  But the hassle was going to outweigh the quality time, you know?  The Professor and i both have been feeling very run-down for the past, oh, 7 months since the BabyGirl blessed our lives, and we weren't in the mood for a whole lot of fanfare.

Coincidentally, as we had these thoughts but had yet to verbalize them to each other, Sue happened to ask me at church what our Thankgiving plans were.  Then she told me the plan that she and Molly had hatched for a completely no-pressure, non-stress Thanksgiving.  It sounded like a dream come true.  I was immediately on board.  I told her that i would double-check with The Professor.

Of course he loved it.  We started calling it "Thanksgiving in Your Jammies" (and yes we really did wear our jammies).  The plan was for everyone to cook their food several days in advance so that there was not a single thing to be done the day of.  It was like a true Jewish Sabbath; no work was allowed.  And since no one was cooking on Thursday, there were no time limitations.  The food was already ready, so you could just show up whenever.  I made the Bourbon-Cranberry Sauce on Tuesday and Chocolate Delight on Wednesday when i got home from work.

Thursday morning, we woke up promptly at 7am, thanks to the BabyGirl's internal clock.  No sleeping in for us for the next 15ish years!  We all had a nice leisurely morning complete with pancake breakfast.  I put some cranberry sauce on my pancakes and it was delicious.  The Professor and i both took nice long showers, a rare treat.  He skyped with his side of the family and I called mine.  Except i only spoke to my dad.  Then, when the BabyGirl woke up from her nap, we loaded up the Green Warrior and hit the road!

We drove, now pay attention here because the following information is so beautiful, 0.6 miles to our destination.  Oh the delight.  Last year we drove EIGHT HUNDRED MILES.  Allow me to tell you about it.  This year, i got off work at about 3pm on Wednesday.  It was grey, raining, with traffic everywhere.  I drove home on Lakeshore Drive, and opposite me on the south-bound side it was bumper to bumper in the nasty rain.  It caused me to remember that on exactly this day, and exactly this time last year, Mark picked me up from work and we began the drive in the gray rain with traffic, traffic, traffic.  We drove until our favorite Comfort Suites a few exits south of Indianapolis, and it rained the entire way, bumper-to-bumper.  And as i headed home from work, i thanked the dear Lord that i wasn't going through that again.  I love my family dearly and i miss them every day, but some hardships just aren't worth it.

So yes, we drove 0.6 miles.  We unloaded all our stuff: the Bourbon Cranberry Sauce, the Chocolate Delight, the BabyGirl in her 50 pound carseat, the Pack-n-Play, the Bag 'O Games\Movies, the Pinot Noir, the diaper bag, and The Professor's bag of personal Thanksgiving snacks.  You see, The Professor has certain idiosyncracies when it comes to food.  See example below.  This is his idea of a holiday meal. 

Yes, that would be Oreos, Coke, Jack Daniels, Milk Duds, and potato chips.  Despite the fact that we had a full Thanksgiving meal, The Professor wanted his junk food.

We got inside and Anne was there!  She stayed for only a few minutes and then she left.  The BabyGirl was due to eat as soon as we got there, so we fed her while the food was set up.  After that, we ate!  Yummy! There was turkey and gravy by Sue, mashed potato heaven by Molly, green beans by Audrey, my cranberry sauce, am i missing anything?  Also there were carrots\onions by Sue.  We enjoyed the food and also had great conversation.  I like small groups.  Normally at Thanksgiving meals, there are about 15 people at the table, which makes conversation difficult.  The worst is when you are on the border between two different discussions.  The people to your left are talking about one thing and the people on your right are talking about something else.  And you are positioned so that you can't participate in either conversation.

Once we finished eating and clearing away the plates, Sue set up a big fancy projector and we watched the movie "The Family Man" with Nicolas Cage.  The BabyGirl had such a great time.  She had all the room in the world to crawl around.  We made a designated area for her by putting up a wall of pillows.  Mark and i laid on the floor to watch the movie and the BabyGirl played to her heart's content.  We ate dessert during the movie, and the Chocolate Delight was a huge success.

After the movie, we sat around to chat.  Then Sue drove Audrey home because she had to work the next day.  Now we felt hungry, so we got all the food back out and had another round.  We sat in the single's lounge and talked some more, until the BabyGirl woke up crying around 10pm.  I think she woke up and didn't know where she was and got scared.  Man was she crying.  Sue held her while we packed all our stuff up.  I couldn't help but laugh at her because she made the most tragic facial expressions.  She began by curling up her bottom lip and then the sadness slowly spread across her whole face.  When the face was 100% engaged, then the crying ensued.  Oh it was adorable. 

We drove home.  The problem with only driving 0.6 miles is that your car doesn't have time to warm up before you have to get back out in the cold again.  We planned to pull up to the front door to unload everything, and then The Professor would go park the car.  But we saw a parking spot that was pseudo-close and we had to carpe diem.  It would probably be gone by the time we unloaded.  The Professor carried the BabyGirl and sprinted (yes, sprinted) to our building.  Why?  Because it was 17 degrees.  It was such an act of love.  It's very difficult to sprint while carrying a BabyGirl.  He did it because he didn't want her to get cold.  One day when she's older I'll tell her about it.  "Do you know how much your Daddy loves you?"

It looked kind of like he was stealing her.  Some crazy dude running with a baby at 10pm.

And thus concludes the account of Thanksgiving 2010.