We voted for the express purpose of getting rid of Joe Moore.
He won. Again.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tales from the Church Nursery: Birth Order Stereotypes
I used to be terrified of my church's nursery, but now i love it! It's such a fascinating place. I think it's due to the fact that I'm now in there regularly, so i'm able to get a feel for the kids' personalities. There are some great things that happen there on Sunday mornings. It would be hilarious to make a reality show about the church nursery. You could even have voice-overs like the E-trade commercials.
There is one little girl in the nursery that took me several months to figure out. We'll call her Kaylee. I'm not entirely sure now old she is? Somewhere around 3. She's very physical, which used to make me mad because it wasn't safe for the BabyGirl to be in the room when Kaylee was there. Kaylee is very unpredictable and all over the place. She runs around, then throws herself down on the floor, then jumps up, then grabs the large rubbermade storage bins for the toys, then throws them across the room. There is a lot of falling and thrashing and throwing and screaming. One week she made a "train" by lining up the chairs. Many of the other kids were unaware\unimpressed by her efforts, and would inadvertently move a chair out of line. Oh my gosh did she have a hissy fit about this. "WAAAHHHHH!!! I'M MAKING A TRAIN AND HE RUINED IT!!!!" My reaction was, "Sorry, sister, but this is a small room with lots of kids, and we can't all submit to your whims." And then it hit me, The Big Epiphany:
Oh right, you are the middle child.
My sister Kay is also the middle child, and is very vocal about how horrible it is. She talks about it so frequently that we all kind of blow her off. But mostly we just don't have a framework for understanding what she's talking about. Honestly I never understood the plight of the middle child until that moment with Kaylee and the train. Suddenly it all made sense: the acting out, the drama queen, the falling all over the place. All for the cause of "Look at me, look at me! Pay me some attention!" Also the need to be in control and the need to exert her will.
Now that i get where she's coming from, i can show her more grace. For example: there is one small table in the nursery, and it has to serve many purposes. At first it is the coloring table. Then they clear it off to make it the snack table. I had to feed the BabyGirl her spoonies in the nursery, which necessitated me using a small section of table. It was strewn with crayons and constructions paper and other items. Of course the BabyGirl was grabbing at whatever she could reach while i was setting up my supplies. The BabyGirl grabbed at some item in particular, and Kaylee said in a voice that meant business, "That's mine." I took the hint. We musn't offend the middle child. We will not grab that item.
Kaylee has a younger brother in the nursery as well. The younger brother is currently the youngest child, but only for a few more weeks. His mother is due any minute with #4, at which point Younger Brother has the misfortune of becoming another middle child. Younger Brother is very clingy. He cries from the moment he is dropped off in the nursery until the moment his parents return. Recently he has made great progress. He only cries for the first 10 minutes, and then he is willing to be distracted from his sorrow. With one exception: any opening of the nursery door. It sets him howling. We discovered that if someone must go in or out, we have to face him away from the door and occupy his attention so he doesn't notice.
There is another little boy in the nursery who is the youngest of a great many kids. He is significantly jealous of his mother's affections. His mother loves children more than anything, and loves to volunteer in the nursery. It breaks the little boy's heart to see her with other kids. He tries every trick in the book. Regression to infant behavior, sweet hugs\kisses, and acting out. You can see it in his face, "I already have to compete with all those siblings when we are at home, and now i have to compete with these kids too?!?! It's just too much."
It was so interesting to me that some of these classic birth order behaviors are clear from a young age. I'm the oldest, and The Professor is the youngest, so i'm glad that between the two of us we have multiple perspectives covered. I remember thinking when i was little, if my sister Kay got her way, "Daddy just likes her more because he is the middle child too."
I want to hear from you guys - what birth order are you? Do you have any typical characteristics of your type? Let's hear your stories! (This means you, Eugenia!) (and you too, Tim!) Just click on "x comments" below. If you don't have any of the profile options listed, you can chose Anonymous.
This topic is very interesting to me, so i want to hear what you have to say. Thanks for sharing!
There is one little girl in the nursery that took me several months to figure out. We'll call her Kaylee. I'm not entirely sure now old she is? Somewhere around 3. She's very physical, which used to make me mad because it wasn't safe for the BabyGirl to be in the room when Kaylee was there. Kaylee is very unpredictable and all over the place. She runs around, then throws herself down on the floor, then jumps up, then grabs the large rubbermade storage bins for the toys, then throws them across the room. There is a lot of falling and thrashing and throwing and screaming. One week she made a "train" by lining up the chairs. Many of the other kids were unaware\unimpressed by her efforts, and would inadvertently move a chair out of line. Oh my gosh did she have a hissy fit about this. "WAAAHHHHH!!! I'M MAKING A TRAIN AND HE RUINED IT!!!!" My reaction was, "Sorry, sister, but this is a small room with lots of kids, and we can't all submit to your whims." And then it hit me, The Big Epiphany:
Oh right, you are the middle child.
My sister Kay is also the middle child, and is very vocal about how horrible it is. She talks about it so frequently that we all kind of blow her off. But mostly we just don't have a framework for understanding what she's talking about. Honestly I never understood the plight of the middle child until that moment with Kaylee and the train. Suddenly it all made sense: the acting out, the drama queen, the falling all over the place. All for the cause of "Look at me, look at me! Pay me some attention!" Also the need to be in control and the need to exert her will.
Now that i get where she's coming from, i can show her more grace. For example: there is one small table in the nursery, and it has to serve many purposes. At first it is the coloring table. Then they clear it off to make it the snack table. I had to feed the BabyGirl her spoonies in the nursery, which necessitated me using a small section of table. It was strewn with crayons and constructions paper and other items. Of course the BabyGirl was grabbing at whatever she could reach while i was setting up my supplies. The BabyGirl grabbed at some item in particular, and Kaylee said in a voice that meant business, "That's mine." I took the hint. We musn't offend the middle child. We will not grab that item.
Kaylee has a younger brother in the nursery as well. The younger brother is currently the youngest child, but only for a few more weeks. His mother is due any minute with #4, at which point Younger Brother has the misfortune of becoming another middle child. Younger Brother is very clingy. He cries from the moment he is dropped off in the nursery until the moment his parents return. Recently he has made great progress. He only cries for the first 10 minutes, and then he is willing to be distracted from his sorrow. With one exception: any opening of the nursery door. It sets him howling. We discovered that if someone must go in or out, we have to face him away from the door and occupy his attention so he doesn't notice.
There is another little boy in the nursery who is the youngest of a great many kids. He is significantly jealous of his mother's affections. His mother loves children more than anything, and loves to volunteer in the nursery. It breaks the little boy's heart to see her with other kids. He tries every trick in the book. Regression to infant behavior, sweet hugs\kisses, and acting out. You can see it in his face, "I already have to compete with all those siblings when we are at home, and now i have to compete with these kids too?!?! It's just too much."
It was so interesting to me that some of these classic birth order behaviors are clear from a young age. I'm the oldest, and The Professor is the youngest, so i'm glad that between the two of us we have multiple perspectives covered. I remember thinking when i was little, if my sister Kay got her way, "Daddy just likes her more because he is the middle child too."
I want to hear from you guys - what birth order are you? Do you have any typical characteristics of your type? Let's hear your stories! (This means you, Eugenia!) (and you too, Tim!) Just click on "x comments" below. If you don't have any of the profile options listed, you can chose Anonymous.
This topic is very interesting to me, so i want to hear what you have to say. Thanks for sharing!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Some Things Do In Fact Need To Cook Forever
I'm really into kale these days.
I told you about that delicious and life-changing meal that my friend Laura made, steak and greens. It completely turned things around for me. I'd heard a lot of buzz about kale and how awesome it is for you, and i aspired to be able to eat it, but i just couldn't. Then Laura showed me the way.
This is my eating lifestyle: once a week i make a huge pot of really nutritious soup. Then I live off of it for several days. It's perfect for the days i work, when i get home late and am STARVING. I'm like Esau, i would gladly sell my birthright for a hot meal. But you don't want to eat something heavy when it's late and you'll be going right to bed, so soup is perfect.
For the past few weeks now, i have included leafy greens in my life-soup. It sounds like I'm trying to sell you something, but I'm telling you the truth in that i can tell a difference in my health. I just feel better. Also, i generally have a lot of digestive issues. The main problem is that i'm lactose intolerant, but non-compliant. I frequently cheat and eat dairy, and boy do i pay for it afterwards. It's weird though, sometimes i have tummy trouble even when i didn't eat dairy. Since i've been eating leafy greens, my GI tract has felt awesome!
The recipe for Steak and Greens says to simmer for 45 minutes. At first i thought, "Oh come on, is that really necessary?" I simmered it for 30 minutes and the greens were tough, so i submitted and gave it the full 45 minutes. It's a Paula Deen recipe. She's a Southern cook, and the reason i was suspicious is because Southerners cook the heck out of everything. I know this from personal experience. My Granny (hi Granny!) cooks her green beans until they are 5 seconds away from disintegrating. If she cooked them any longer, they would turn to dust right there in the pot. One year at Thanksgiving, Granny had cooked her green beans for a couple of hours at home before coming over to our house. Then she cooked them some more. When her back was turned, my Daddy would turn the stove off. Granny would notice several minutes later and think, "What in the world? Why are the beans off?" and would turn them back on. This went on a few times, off-on, off-on. It was pretty funny. Finally Granny got worked up and exclaimed, "What is going on here?!?" and Daddy confessed.
My friend Molly is a major foodie, and an awesome cook. She and I have had many a discussion about overcooked vegetables. When you are cooking something like broccoli or green beans, they turn a beautiful bright green. Most people keep cooking them past that point, and their color turns dark and dull. Molly and i prefer veggies in that bright green stage.
After i had already eaten several batches of kale, i read that you have to steam it in order to obtain all the nutrients. If you boil it, it loses the anti-cancer properties. Well that was disappointing, here i was thinking i was being so healthy when in fact i wasn't getting all the nutrients i thought. So this week i steamed the kale separately from the rest of my soup. When it was ready to eat, i spooned the greens into my bowl and served the soup on top of it.
Turns out, Granny's method is better in certain circumstances (i said *certain* circumstances). I never thought i would say it, but the kale was more palatable when it was cooked forever. As much as i loved the bright green color of steaming, it was too chewy. Nevertheless, i will stubbornly proceed with the steaming. Why would you eat something like kale if you aren't going to get tons of health benefits?
Another interesting thing i found out is that kale is a Northern green. My Grandmother told me this. She grew up in the South, eating things like collard greens and turnip greens, but never kale. I decided that i'm going to stay true to my heritage and switch to collard greens. Fortunately, kale and collard greens are siblings, so they have the same nutrients. I know that you are supposed to eat locally sourced produce as part of a green lifestyle, but i'm going to eat collards anyway. It's not like i'm demanding fresh lychees or bok choy. And who knows? Maybe collard greens taste good steamed.
I told you about that delicious and life-changing meal that my friend Laura made, steak and greens. It completely turned things around for me. I'd heard a lot of buzz about kale and how awesome it is for you, and i aspired to be able to eat it, but i just couldn't. Then Laura showed me the way.
This is my eating lifestyle: once a week i make a huge pot of really nutritious soup. Then I live off of it for several days. It's perfect for the days i work, when i get home late and am STARVING. I'm like Esau, i would gladly sell my birthright for a hot meal. But you don't want to eat something heavy when it's late and you'll be going right to bed, so soup is perfect.
For the past few weeks now, i have included leafy greens in my life-soup. It sounds like I'm trying to sell you something, but I'm telling you the truth in that i can tell a difference in my health. I just feel better. Also, i generally have a lot of digestive issues. The main problem is that i'm lactose intolerant, but non-compliant. I frequently cheat and eat dairy, and boy do i pay for it afterwards. It's weird though, sometimes i have tummy trouble even when i didn't eat dairy. Since i've been eating leafy greens, my GI tract has felt awesome!
The recipe for Steak and Greens says to simmer for 45 minutes. At first i thought, "Oh come on, is that really necessary?" I simmered it for 30 minutes and the greens were tough, so i submitted and gave it the full 45 minutes. It's a Paula Deen recipe. She's a Southern cook, and the reason i was suspicious is because Southerners cook the heck out of everything. I know this from personal experience. My Granny (hi Granny!) cooks her green beans until they are 5 seconds away from disintegrating. If she cooked them any longer, they would turn to dust right there in the pot. One year at Thanksgiving, Granny had cooked her green beans for a couple of hours at home before coming over to our house. Then she cooked them some more. When her back was turned, my Daddy would turn the stove off. Granny would notice several minutes later and think, "What in the world? Why are the beans off?" and would turn them back on. This went on a few times, off-on, off-on. It was pretty funny. Finally Granny got worked up and exclaimed, "What is going on here?!?" and Daddy confessed.
My friend Molly is a major foodie, and an awesome cook. She and I have had many a discussion about overcooked vegetables. When you are cooking something like broccoli or green beans, they turn a beautiful bright green. Most people keep cooking them past that point, and their color turns dark and dull. Molly and i prefer veggies in that bright green stage.
After i had already eaten several batches of kale, i read that you have to steam it in order to obtain all the nutrients. If you boil it, it loses the anti-cancer properties. Well that was disappointing, here i was thinking i was being so healthy when in fact i wasn't getting all the nutrients i thought. So this week i steamed the kale separately from the rest of my soup. When it was ready to eat, i spooned the greens into my bowl and served the soup on top of it.
Turns out, Granny's method is better in certain circumstances (i said *certain* circumstances). I never thought i would say it, but the kale was more palatable when it was cooked forever. As much as i loved the bright green color of steaming, it was too chewy. Nevertheless, i will stubbornly proceed with the steaming. Why would you eat something like kale if you aren't going to get tons of health benefits?
Another interesting thing i found out is that kale is a Northern green. My Grandmother told me this. She grew up in the South, eating things like collard greens and turnip greens, but never kale. I decided that i'm going to stay true to my heritage and switch to collard greens. Fortunately, kale and collard greens are siblings, so they have the same nutrients. I know that you are supposed to eat locally sourced produce as part of a green lifestyle, but i'm going to eat collards anyway. It's not like i'm demanding fresh lychees or bok choy. And who knows? Maybe collard greens taste good steamed.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Five Things That Happened This Week
I started this series about 3 weeks ago with high hopes, but then was so busy that i didn't have time to continue it. It's a shame, because we've been doing some really interesting things. It irritates me that i'm not going in chronological order, but i'm going to write about this week now and hope to come back to the other weeks later.
1. February 6 was Superbowl Sunday! Also it was the BabyGirl's 10 month birthday. Tripp and Laura very graciously invited us out to Laura's parents' house in The Suburbs. We had such a great time! It was so restorative to get out of the city and be in a real house. The BabyGirl had tons of room to crawl around. She pretty much made lap after lap around the living room\kitchen. Laura's parents were the perfect hosts. There was a very fancy cheese plate, and man do i love fancy cheese. When i go to Dominick's, which isn't very often, i always make a trip to the cheese case to drool over the expensive cheeses. If i had an unlimited budget, i think i would spend it all on nice cheeses. Some women have a thing for shoes, some women like mani\pedi's. I like cheese. And this cheese was very, very good.
2. I started exercising! This was a huge milestone for me. You see, i LOVE working out. In my pre-mommy life i would go to the gym on my days off work and be there for hours. I haven't been able to work out since birthing the BabyGirl due to a combination of physical problems, doctor's orders, and lack of time. This week i decided to go for it. It was an impulsive move on my part. I took the BabyGirl with me down to the creepy basement where the dilapidated second-hand treadmill and elliptical are. It was very experimental because i wasn't sure how it would work having her there with me. I'll tell ya, it didn't work. At all. It's amazing how you think and environment is safe, and then a baby finds all sorts of stuff you never would have noticed. I expected it to be a challenge keeping her away from the belt of the treadmill, and it was. My workout was an involuntary interval training. I ran for a minute or two, then jumped off the treadmill to move the BabyGirl away from some dangerous thing she was doing. Then i ran for another minute, and had to intervene again. Another problem was that there are two ways of getting to the creepy basement: down the Spiralling Stairs of Doom or across the Slippery Patch of Ice. Since i had forgotten about the Slippery Patch of Ice, that was the path we took on the way there. But coming back from the other end of it, i couldn't make it across. There was no foothold to get started. I reasoned that falling from 5 feet off the ground was better than falling from 3 stories off the ground, but we just couldn't do it. So we had to take the Spiralling Stairs of Doom. Those stairs scare the heck out of me, and they are worse in the winter because they creak and moan. I had a big panic attack on level 2 of 3, but fortunately we made it. And neither one of us is a quadriplegic.
3. Human Resources came to my department to conduct a group therapy session about our boss. Back in May, the staff filled out a Press-Ganey survey about management, and the results weren't favorable. Managers across the whole organization scored poorly, and my boss' numbers were even worse than the institutional average. So this poor HR girl was assigned to come investigate. The session wasn't conducted well, so it ended up being a double frustration. The experience of sharing our frustrations was frustrating (ha, go figure).
4. I had two social events. The first was Friday night. I went to a coffee shop to listen to a friend play music. The Professor stayed home with the BabyGirl, which was a huge gift to me. I had a great time. I love this friend's music, and it was a nice end to a frustrating work day. The second event was Crafternoon. A few of us hung out at Laura's house to work on projects. I worked on the aforementioned Non-Removable Crib Sheets. Emily was planning to gold leaf a vase, but right before she came over the dropped the vase and it shattered into a million pieces. Very tragic. Instead, she served as Project Support and Baby Overseer. Laura started a bolster pillow, with lots of help from Emily. Clair made an adorable decorative pillow. It was a wonderful afternoon and i had a lot of fun! Thanks craft friends!
5. The Professor and I went on a romantic Valentine's Date. Blake and Emily babysat for us (thanks Blake and Emily!). We went to dinner at Acre and dessert at George's. It was very enjoyable and we caught up on each other's stories.
1. February 6 was Superbowl Sunday! Also it was the BabyGirl's 10 month birthday. Tripp and Laura very graciously invited us out to Laura's parents' house in The Suburbs. We had such a great time! It was so restorative to get out of the city and be in a real house. The BabyGirl had tons of room to crawl around. She pretty much made lap after lap around the living room\kitchen. Laura's parents were the perfect hosts. There was a very fancy cheese plate, and man do i love fancy cheese. When i go to Dominick's, which isn't very often, i always make a trip to the cheese case to drool over the expensive cheeses. If i had an unlimited budget, i think i would spend it all on nice cheeses. Some women have a thing for shoes, some women like mani\pedi's. I like cheese. And this cheese was very, very good.
2. I started exercising! This was a huge milestone for me. You see, i LOVE working out. In my pre-mommy life i would go to the gym on my days off work and be there for hours. I haven't been able to work out since birthing the BabyGirl due to a combination of physical problems, doctor's orders, and lack of time. This week i decided to go for it. It was an impulsive move on my part. I took the BabyGirl with me down to the creepy basement where the dilapidated second-hand treadmill and elliptical are. It was very experimental because i wasn't sure how it would work having her there with me. I'll tell ya, it didn't work. At all. It's amazing how you think and environment is safe, and then a baby finds all sorts of stuff you never would have noticed. I expected it to be a challenge keeping her away from the belt of the treadmill, and it was. My workout was an involuntary interval training. I ran for a minute or two, then jumped off the treadmill to move the BabyGirl away from some dangerous thing she was doing. Then i ran for another minute, and had to intervene again. Another problem was that there are two ways of getting to the creepy basement: down the Spiralling Stairs of Doom or across the Slippery Patch of Ice. Since i had forgotten about the Slippery Patch of Ice, that was the path we took on the way there. But coming back from the other end of it, i couldn't make it across. There was no foothold to get started. I reasoned that falling from 5 feet off the ground was better than falling from 3 stories off the ground, but we just couldn't do it. So we had to take the Spiralling Stairs of Doom. Those stairs scare the heck out of me, and they are worse in the winter because they creak and moan. I had a big panic attack on level 2 of 3, but fortunately we made it. And neither one of us is a quadriplegic.
3. Human Resources came to my department to conduct a group therapy session about our boss. Back in May, the staff filled out a Press-Ganey survey about management, and the results weren't favorable. Managers across the whole organization scored poorly, and my boss' numbers were even worse than the institutional average. So this poor HR girl was assigned to come investigate. The session wasn't conducted well, so it ended up being a double frustration. The experience of sharing our frustrations was frustrating (ha, go figure).
4. I had two social events. The first was Friday night. I went to a coffee shop to listen to a friend play music. The Professor stayed home with the BabyGirl, which was a huge gift to me. I had a great time. I love this friend's music, and it was a nice end to a frustrating work day. The second event was Crafternoon. A few of us hung out at Laura's house to work on projects. I worked on the aforementioned Non-Removable Crib Sheets. Emily was planning to gold leaf a vase, but right before she came over the dropped the vase and it shattered into a million pieces. Very tragic. Instead, she served as Project Support and Baby Overseer. Laura started a bolster pillow, with lots of help from Emily. Clair made an adorable decorative pillow. It was a wonderful afternoon and i had a lot of fun! Thanks craft friends!
5. The Professor and I went on a romantic Valentine's Date. Blake and Emily babysat for us (thanks Blake and Emily!). We went to dinner at Acre and dessert at George's. It was very enjoyable and we caught up on each other's stories.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
About the Fabric Store
The fabric store is a very mystifying place.
My mother is a master sewer, so i have many memories of going to the fabric store when i was little. It always seemed like a secret club. There was obscure terminology. There were unwritten codes of behavior. I'm pretty sure there was a secret handshake.
I accompanied my mother to the fabric store as a little girl, wide-eyed and curious. All those pretty fabric designs. Buttons and ribbons and lace. Then there was a 14 year gap. I got old enough that i didn't have to go absolutely everywhere she went; i could stay home. So more than a decade went by until i had reason to return to the fabric store.
Then, a few months ago, i went. And would you believe, the place hadn't changed. It wasn't the same store i went to growing up, but it definitely could have been. It was so bizarre. The rest of the world has progressed in the past 14 years, but the fabric store was still exactly the same. They still had those paper tickets, the lady at the cutting station was still 100 years old with a Little House on the Prairie hairstyle. It was like walking back in time.
And i'm still wide-eyed and mystified. It's still a secret club and i definitely don't belong. I don't know the handshake. The part that makes me the most nervous is when the lady who is cutting your fabric says, "So what are you making?"
That's when my heart stops for a minute.
I'm usually not making anything at all (i just loved the fabric), or i'm making something embarrassing, or i'm making something that i don't know what i'm doing and i'm afraid she'll ask more questions.
Well yesterday all that changed. I marched into that store with confidence. I knew exactly what i was making. I even half-way know how to do it. I was on a mission. I went directly to the fabric i needed, selected the right color, and approached the cutting station.
There is always a long line at the cutting station. There are three physical "stations". Three counters with yardsticks and scissors. But there is only ever one lady cutting. No matter what. It's one of the unwritten codes of sewing.
The man who was currently being helped must have been upholstering a chair or something. He had long sheets of foam, a bunch of fluffy stuffing, and lots of leather-ish type fabric. The cutting lady was making the usual small talk. I wasn't really paying attention, until all of a sudden i heard her ask him, "Do you wear boxers?"
Long awkward pause.
Oh man the look on his face was so funny.
I said jokingly, "Wow, these questions are getting very personal!"
Turns out she was trying to coax him into buying this fancy new spray-starch-wrinkle-releaser type stuff. The employees must have a quota because she really wouldn't give it up about the wrinkle releaser. Apparently her main tactic is to tell men how great it is for boxers. You just spray it right on there and it makes them look neat and tidy! I wasn't really following her reasoning. I don't have much experience with boxers, but it seems to me that it's okay for them to be wrinkled. Which is very freeing, because it's one less thing to worry about in life. I mean imagine, if you had to add an extra 2 minutes to your morning routine to spray and smooth out your boxers?
Anyway, it was finally my turn. "I need three yards of both of these, please."
She began cutting and i waited patiently for the inevitable.
"What are you making?"
Oh yeah, i can do this! I was so excited to have an answer for her. "I'm making new and improved sheets for my baby's crib because she keeps taking the sheets off and throwing them on the floor." I even glanced back at the person in line behind me to make sure they heard.
The cutting lady thought about this for a minute. She asked, "Do you burp your baby?"
Aw man, she stumped me! I thought i was prepared, and here she goes and asks a question i didn't expect. I replied (with the tone of voice you would use to say "DUH"), "yes."
She asked, "Have you thought about reducing the number of ounces at each feeding?"
Now i'm getting irritated. Whatever my shortcomings as a seamstress, i feel pretty confident about my baby-raising abilities. I don't mind feeling like an idiot in the sewing world, but do you have to second-guess my mothering skills as well? You don't even know me! And, might i mention, what on earth does this have to do with crib sheets?
I responded (rather tactfully i must say), "It's not a feeding issue. She's very inquisitive."
She had to take a minute to regroup. "How old is your baby?"
I said, "10 months."
She said, "Well, you know, childhood obesity is a big problem in this country so you really don't want to be overfeeding your baby, especially if she is vomiting so much."
At this point there were approximately 75 very intense things i wanted to say to her. But she was clearly crazy, so it didn't seem worth it. I think what i did say was something along the lines of, "SHE ISN'T VOMITING, SHE IS TAKING THE SHEETS OFF HER BED so i'm making new sheets like a pillow case style instead of a fitted sheet."
The lady didn't miss a beat. "This is a nice lightweight fabric, so you would definitely benefit from our fancy-spray-starch-wrinkle-remover-stuff."
Um, no thanks. Much like underwear, i sorta don't care if my crib sheets are a little wrinkled.
And thus my inquisition was finally over. That was way more scary than all the times before, when i didn't know what i was making. It convinced me that from now on, I'm going to lie about my project. Or say nothing at all. Or if i'm feeling particularly feisty, I'll make up something completely preposterous. The poor fabric lady won't see it coming.
"What are you making?"
"Banana bread."
My mother is a master sewer, so i have many memories of going to the fabric store when i was little. It always seemed like a secret club. There was obscure terminology. There were unwritten codes of behavior. I'm pretty sure there was a secret handshake.
I accompanied my mother to the fabric store as a little girl, wide-eyed and curious. All those pretty fabric designs. Buttons and ribbons and lace. Then there was a 14 year gap. I got old enough that i didn't have to go absolutely everywhere she went; i could stay home. So more than a decade went by until i had reason to return to the fabric store.
Then, a few months ago, i went. And would you believe, the place hadn't changed. It wasn't the same store i went to growing up, but it definitely could have been. It was so bizarre. The rest of the world has progressed in the past 14 years, but the fabric store was still exactly the same. They still had those paper tickets, the lady at the cutting station was still 100 years old with a Little House on the Prairie hairstyle. It was like walking back in time.
And i'm still wide-eyed and mystified. It's still a secret club and i definitely don't belong. I don't know the handshake. The part that makes me the most nervous is when the lady who is cutting your fabric says, "So what are you making?"
That's when my heart stops for a minute.
I'm usually not making anything at all (i just loved the fabric), or i'm making something embarrassing, or i'm making something that i don't know what i'm doing and i'm afraid she'll ask more questions.
Well yesterday all that changed. I marched into that store with confidence. I knew exactly what i was making. I even half-way know how to do it. I was on a mission. I went directly to the fabric i needed, selected the right color, and approached the cutting station.
There is always a long line at the cutting station. There are three physical "stations". Three counters with yardsticks and scissors. But there is only ever one lady cutting. No matter what. It's one of the unwritten codes of sewing.
The man who was currently being helped must have been upholstering a chair or something. He had long sheets of foam, a bunch of fluffy stuffing, and lots of leather-ish type fabric. The cutting lady was making the usual small talk. I wasn't really paying attention, until all of a sudden i heard her ask him, "Do you wear boxers?"
Long awkward pause.
Oh man the look on his face was so funny.
I said jokingly, "Wow, these questions are getting very personal!"
Turns out she was trying to coax him into buying this fancy new spray-starch-wrinkle-releaser type stuff. The employees must have a quota because she really wouldn't give it up about the wrinkle releaser. Apparently her main tactic is to tell men how great it is for boxers. You just spray it right on there and it makes them look neat and tidy! I wasn't really following her reasoning. I don't have much experience with boxers, but it seems to me that it's okay for them to be wrinkled. Which is very freeing, because it's one less thing to worry about in life. I mean imagine, if you had to add an extra 2 minutes to your morning routine to spray and smooth out your boxers?
Anyway, it was finally my turn. "I need three yards of both of these, please."
She began cutting and i waited patiently for the inevitable.
"What are you making?"
Oh yeah, i can do this! I was so excited to have an answer for her. "I'm making new and improved sheets for my baby's crib because she keeps taking the sheets off and throwing them on the floor." I even glanced back at the person in line behind me to make sure they heard.
The cutting lady thought about this for a minute. She asked, "Do you burp your baby?"
Aw man, she stumped me! I thought i was prepared, and here she goes and asks a question i didn't expect. I replied (with the tone of voice you would use to say "DUH"), "yes."
She asked, "Have you thought about reducing the number of ounces at each feeding?"
Now i'm getting irritated. Whatever my shortcomings as a seamstress, i feel pretty confident about my baby-raising abilities. I don't mind feeling like an idiot in the sewing world, but do you have to second-guess my mothering skills as well? You don't even know me! And, might i mention, what on earth does this have to do with crib sheets?
I responded (rather tactfully i must say), "It's not a feeding issue. She's very inquisitive."
She had to take a minute to regroup. "How old is your baby?"
I said, "10 months."
She said, "Well, you know, childhood obesity is a big problem in this country so you really don't want to be overfeeding your baby, especially if she is vomiting so much."
At this point there were approximately 75 very intense things i wanted to say to her. But she was clearly crazy, so it didn't seem worth it. I think what i did say was something along the lines of, "SHE ISN'T VOMITING, SHE IS TAKING THE SHEETS OFF HER BED so i'm making new sheets like a pillow case style instead of a fitted sheet."
The lady didn't miss a beat. "This is a nice lightweight fabric, so you would definitely benefit from our fancy-spray-starch-wrinkle-remover-stuff."
Um, no thanks. Much like underwear, i sorta don't care if my crib sheets are a little wrinkled.
And thus my inquisition was finally over. That was way more scary than all the times before, when i didn't know what i was making. It convinced me that from now on, I'm going to lie about my project. Or say nothing at all. Or if i'm feeling particularly feisty, I'll make up something completely preposterous. The poor fabric lady won't see it coming.
"What are you making?"
"Banana bread."
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
What the BabyGirl Ate Today
You might say that the BabyGirl is what they call a "good eater". She eats all kinds of stuff. Today the BabyGirl had a particularly well-balanced diet. She ate the following:
The kitties were pretty jealous about this one, because they found it first so it was supposed to be theirs.
Um, don't tell the Professor about this one.
Little pieces of carpet from the cheap rug in the foyer. These are her absolute favorite, and a constant source of animosity between the two of us. She never gives up putting them in her mouth, and i never give up fishing them out.
Cat food. The kitties were upset about this one too.
You think i would learn my lesson by now, because this is what she ate late week:
Coke. The Professor and I both grew up in Coca Cola Headquarters, so our progeny has a genetic predisposition towards it. I think that if you were to put the Professor's blood into a centrifuge, it would separate into blood cells, plasma, and Coke. Nonetheless, i think the BabyGirl is a bit young to start a Coke habit.
So the moral of the story is clear. You have to watch that BabyGirl like a hawk.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Newest Pink Minion
Today we received another minion in the mail! A Build-a-Bear from my Granny, who is the BabyGirl's Great-Granny. We were a little worried about it because it arrived like this:
Never fear! Everything was fine. We didn't know beforehand what was in the box, so we didn't know we needed to open it with the BabyGirl. I opened it by myself in the kitchen. Once i got the paper off, i found the cutest pink bear inside! I had just pulled it out and was beginning to investigate it when the Professor walked in carrying the BabyGirl. She saw it and immediately her face lit up and she lunged to grab it. She gave a huge smile and started talking to the bear. She petted it for a minute and then gave it a big squeeze. It was so cute! This bear is definitely a keeper. Thanks Granny!
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