The Most Trailer-Trash Yard on the Block

The three of us took a whirlwind trip to visit our new city in order to look for a place to live.  After what felt like a thousand showings, we signed a lease on an adorable, albeit teeny, little blue house!  We are very excited about it.  For the first time in our married lives, we will have a yard!  I'll show you a picture to prove it:  
 

The Professor and I starting making plans for how best to utilize our new yard, and we got a little carried away.  He said, "There isn't any shade in the backyard, so we'll need to get one of those canopy things."
 



And I said, "Well we definitely need patio furniture, because i want to eat dinner outside."
 

"Oh and the neighbors had a great swing; I'd love to have one like it."



"And of course we'll finally get the BabyGirl a pool."












Within a minute or two, we had taken that cute little patch of grass and turned it into the most cluttered backyard on the block!



Ridiculously Good Looking

On the way back from the Women's Retreat, we fulfilled a Retreat tradition and stopped at an outlet mall, where i almost bought this shirt for The Professor:

Why would i buy him this shirt, you ask?  It's simple; because he is really, really ridiculously good looking.  =]

As we were looking at the men's t-shirts, i told my friend Sue that i gave The Professor a shirt that says, "World's Best Husband", to which she said, "Well he is!"  And it's true.

I'm currently very much aware that he is the world's best husband, because we are preparing to move to a new state.  There are two aspects of my personality that make this undertaking very challenging.  1) I am a hopeless procrastinator, and 2) I am not a detail-oriented person.  When there are tedious, detailed tasks to do, and when there are a GREAT MANY tedious, detail oriented tasks, I start to break down.  But my dear husband has already packed about 15 boxes, and we have 3 weeks left.  So when do we think i would start packing if i was in charge?  Probably 2 days before.  But he has already packed about 300 books.  He's the best.

In other news, the BabyGirl is still cute.  She has now mastered walking to the extent that it is no big deal to her, so in order to keep herself challenged she has developed more advanced skills for herself to practice.  And to watch her perform these skills, by the look on her face she believes herself to be quite the daredevil!  These are her Advanced Walking Skills:

1.  Walking on her tip-toes
2.  Walking backwards
3.  Putting a bucket over her head and walking without being able to see
4.  Stepping over high objects while walking
5.  Balancing on one leg
6.  Marching in place (this is the precursor to jumping.  When we say, "Jump!" and we jump up and down to demonstrate, she thinks she is jumping but really she's just marching in place.)

As a sidenote to #4, she always makes sure to hold someone's hand if she is stepping over something too high to get her leg over.  The Professor was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the couch, with his arm resting on the couch.  She walked over to him, grabbed his hand, and brought it over to where she was, so that she could hold his hand while stepping over his leg.
 

Sometimes You Get What You Need

We've been singing a particular song around our house recently, maybe you've heard of it.  It's "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones.  You see, The Professor and I went away for a romantic weekend for our 7 year anniversary, and the BabyGirl's grandparents came to stay with her.  They loved her and squeezed her and spoiled her rotten, such that when we came back she had a hard time understanding why we wouldn't give her every little thing she wanted, exactly when she wanted it.  In order to help her through the confusion of readjusting back to normal life, we sang her that song.

And it was kind of fitting for The Professor and I too.  We wanted certain things that we didn't get.  And like the BabyGirl, we had a hard time understanding why it wasn't being given to us.  Also like the BabyGirl, we cried when we didn't get it.

But as the song goes,

If you try sometimes
You just might find --
You get what you need!

And that's what happened!  The Professor got a job!

So all the hopes and dreams and what-if's that were crushed in late May are now suddenly granted.  We will move to a suburban setting, he will work full-time, and i will stay home with the BabyGirl!

It's very surreal, and i can't fully comprehend it.  A quote from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory keeps playing in my head.  Willie Wonka says, "But Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted . . . He lived happily ever after."

As it turned out, I submitted my 2 weeks notice at work yesterday, and my last day was today.  I have long been scheduled for vacation at the end of this week and all of next week, so i won't even be at work for 1.5 of my last 2 weeks.  Which is a huge blessing from a pack-up-and-move standpoint, but a big letdown from a finding-closure-with-work-friends standpoint.  Most of my conversations went like this:

Me: Guess what, I'm moving away!
Dr Bob: Really, where?
Me: [Town that i'm moving to].
Dr Bob: That's great?  When is your last day?
Me:  Today!
Dr Bob [with bewilderment]:  Um, okay . . . ?

I have a mountain of thoughts and feelings about retiring from my very intense profession, with 2 days notice, after doing it for 8 years.  Truth be told, I'm pretty dang good at what i do, and i have saved many lives.  I love a good cardiac arrest more than anyone should.  My favorite thing is being able to act quickly and decisively in the midst of an emergency.  That job has sucked the life out of me more times than not, but it was my act of service and my way to make a difference.

Now, just like that, it's over. 

The Professor and i, with the BabyGirl, are beginning a new stage of life.  Like my sister said in a post you must read, we are turning.  I have done a lot of spinning around the past year, but it has been haphazard and frenetic.  I did not keep my eyes fixed on the Solid Rock, and i did not remain steady.  But now we have a fresh beginning.  This time i hope to turn correctly.  This time i hope to turn around to the place just right.
  

What do you mean, the kitties don't speak English?

It's so fascinating to me to watch the process of a baby learning language.  The skill is a combination of so many different things.  First there is the physiological process of making sound by moving air through one's vocal cords, and all the numerous elements that into that.  And also is the mental process of recognizing what language signifies.  Certain objects have specific sounds associated with them.  But then once you get past simply naming objects, you learn that invisible things have names too, like "I love you."  I just think the whole thing is so interesting!

Anyway, now that we've gotten the nerdy stuff out of the way, let's move on to the cuteness.  The BabyGirl is in a stage where she immitates every sound she hears.  She doesn't imitate the sound with 100% accuracy, but it's clear enough that you know she's trying, and it's adorable.  When the timer goes off on the microwave, she says, "Beep! Beep!"  When she throws a ball on the floor, she says, "Boom!"

She jibber-jabbers almost all the time.  As she's walking around our condo, or while she's on the floor playing, she keeps up a continuous string of babble.  During a Skype session recently, her Grandpa commented, "Aww, she's really trying to talk!"  The BabyGirl's response to that comment, however, would be, "I'm not TRYING to talk, Grandpa.  I AM talking."  Most of the time she acts as if the things she says make perfect sense.  She'll look me right in the eye and give a long string of sounds, and then pause to wait for my response.  When i don't respond in a timely fashion, she gives a big huff and goes away.

The three of us were at Target the other day and we got into a "Crazy Noises Contest."  It went like this: the BabyGirl said something (in babytalk) totally crazy sounding, and generally pretty loudly.  Then i would make some crazy noises, and we'd go back and forth.  It was hilarous!

During the process of imitating sounds, the thing that we laugh about the most is when she mimics the kitties.  When they say, "Mah-row," she says "mah-row" too!  She copies all the noises they make.  The Professor and i were talking about it, and realized that she has no way to discriminate between the sounds we teach her and the sounds the kitties teach her.  As far as she is concerned, "eye," "book," and "mah-row" are all ligitimate words!  She might be disappointed one day when she finds out that the kitties don't speak our language, and here she is trying so hard to talk like them.
 

Maybe Someday We'll Figure All This Out

Will one of you please distract The Professor so that he doesn't notice I'm not in bed right now?

It's way past my bedtime, and tomorrow i'm going to be whining about how tired i am.  But i can't go to sleep yet, there's something i need to write real quick.  Except i have a feeling that it won't truly be quick.  Twelve minute blog post, my foot!  I can't write anything in less than an hour.

Since i last wrote, i have done a lot of awesome things.  I went to Tennessee for my sister's college graduation, we had a fun Memorial Day Weekend, and i celebrated my 30th birthday.  I've really been wanting to write to you about all these events, but haven't been able to because -

Also in the intervening time since i wrote, we received the devastating news that The Professor once again was turned down for a full-time job.  That means that on three different occasions this semester, The Professor made it to the Top Two candidates out of hundreds of applicants, but the job went to the Other [aka Older] Guy.  90% of you reading this cannot fully comprehend the significance of what this means to us, and also how deeply it affects us.  And this is a quick blog post, remember?  So we won't take the time to explain it to you fully.

Basically the past 3 weeks have been filled with crying and complete loss of hope, interspersed with Big Events That Distract You From Your Real Life.  The weekend of my birthday was like a parallel universe.  I was there, and my friends were there, and it was the same city, but it wasn't real life.  Then on Monday morning when you are back in real life, it's confusing to be so deeply and painfully sad, because the day before you were happy and free and having a great time.

The Professor and I had a long conversation about it this afternoon.  We reached no conclusions during our discussion, and found no answers.  It was helpful to talk through some things, and he made some good points.   

After our conversation, we were so pleased to have an impromptu Great Family Night.  The three of us spent some quality time together with good laughs.  We grilled hamburgers for dinner.  I was hanging out in the kitchen while The Professor was on the porch grilling, and the BabyGirl twirled in circles like a ballerina.  Except she doesn't know the trick of keeping your head pointed at a fixed object like ballerinas do, so she gets dizzy very quickly and falls over in a heap.

We were listening to music, and the song "Someday" by Rob Thomas came on.  It expresses how i'm feeling, and i want to share it with you.  On my first draft of this quick blog post (ha! a quick post shouldn't have multiple drafts), i went into a detailed analysis of the song and why it's meaningful to me in this moment.  I'm going through a prolonged stage of uncertainty, and i honestly don't know if i will survive in one piece.   

Here are the lyrics:

And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
And try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday


Now of course you need to listen to the song for the words to make sense!

 

Normal Day

The things that i currently NEED to be doing:

• Packing for my trip tomorrow
• Setting out the BabyGirl's food for tomorrow
• Washing a mountain of dishes

The things that i currently WANT to be doing:

• Play Zoo Tycoon
• Play Zoo Tycoon
• Play Zoo Tycoon

Writing a blog post seems like a good alternative.  It is more productive than playing Zoo Tycoon, but not as important as the bonafide tasks, so it's the perfect balance of indulgence and industry.  I've had a very emotional week.  I've had a very emotional day.  Writing helps me unwind, but right now i don't know what to say.  You know?  Writing feels good, but i don't know what to write.

My Granddaddy, who is now with Jesus, was a man that i greatly admire.  He loved the Lord with an undivided heart.  He used to talk about what he called "pivotal moments."  Pivotal moments are those times in life when you face a challenge that defines who you will become.  When you have to choose the wide or the narrow.  As Robert Frost put it, when two roads diverge in a yellow wood. 

It's like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book.  Decisions you make in Chapter One determine which course you follow, and whether you live or die on the last page.  I read a C.S. Lewis book years ago and remember a sentence that said that the devil wants us always thinking about the past or the future, but never the present.

That's me.  Always the past, always the future.  Being angry over the circumstances of April 2010.  Being worried about the upcoming school year.  Letting the pain of yesterday and anxiety about tomorrow taint the joy of today.

Today i have a roof over my head.  Today i have enough food to eat.  Today my bills are paid.  Today there was sunshine (it only lasted for about 45 minutes but it was sunshine nonetheless).  Today i had giggles and smiles and snuggles.  Today i have love.

Today i was shown tremendous grace by two extraordinary friends.  Today a friend said to me, "I believe that God loves us relentlessly, therefore I'm going to love you relentlessly until you turn to Him."  Another friend also showed me great love by saying, "I forgive you" to the many wrongs I've committed against her.

I feel like those two conversations were pivotal in my journey.  We won't know for certain until I'm 80 years old.  My huge fear is that my current trajectory will cause me to be an old woman who is bitter, defeated, and isolated.  Hopefully today's events opened the door just enough to let a tiny ray of light through.  If i follow that light, I can become an old woman whose life is filled with grace, love, and peace.

I've had a song in my head today.  I'm embarrassed to tell you what it is, because it's not as deep and insightful as you would hope for.  But it's the foolish things that shame the wise, so here we go.  From that great philosopher Bob Marley, i give you:

"Don't worry
about a thing
cause every little thing
gonna be alright!"

(listen to it here)

Sort of Like "Five Things That Happened This Week"

Hello friends!

I am now recovered from my bout of cholera, but being out of commission for 6 days put me behind on most life activities.  I've been itching to write something on here, but have been swamped with getting my household back on track.  So i thought we'd do a little "5 Things That Happened This Week", but i was having a hard time organizing my week into 5 events, so i'll just give you a quick run down on each of us.  We'll start with the BabyGirl since she's the cutest.

1.  BabyGirl - She FINALLY seems to have finished with her Difficult Phase, which lasted for about 2 months.  The Professor commented that she can do so much more now than she could 3 weeks ago.  And it's true!  She has changed a lot.  There's the one obvious achievement, that she can walk, but there are a lot of little things too.  The second half of the week she has been the sweetest little angel.  She is a very funny person and she makes me laugh a lot.  She can make some really funny faces. 

She is starting to focus on language.  She points at an object to get you to say it's name, for example, "button."  She intently studies your mouth as you say it, and then she tries to repeat the word.  She has quite the attention span for it.  After about the 20th consecutive time of saying "button" for her, I'm ready to do something else, but she's still focused.  I never noticed before how many of the words that a baby would want to learn are all 2 syllables and end with "y".  Kitty, Daddy, Tummy, Piggie (aka toes).  It would be very confusing.  There are a few "b" words that she's practicing right now: book, button, ball.  She pretty much just says "buh" for all of them.

There are times when she just up and gets the giggles with no apparent explanation.  It's so funny!  Sometimes you can't even tell what set her off, but once she gets the giggles then anything and everything you do is hilarious to her.  Yesterday The Professor was holding her, and i made a motion to take her from him, and she shrugged me off like, "Don't touch me."  I took her anyway, and then once i was holding her i reenacted her shrugging motion, and she died laughing.  The Professor and I both did it over and over, and the three of us just stood there and laughed till our sides hurt.

2.  The Professor - This week was crazy for him.  It was final exams and all the related end-of-semester tasks.  Once he finished grading finals, he plunged headfirst into preparing for his interview next week.  In the midst of all that, he did a little handyman work by fixing the microwave.  The handle came off last week.  He called the company to order a new one, and at the end of the transaction the person asked if he'd also like to get their Super Duper Microwave Cleaning Solution.  Now normally we don't hold with these kind of gimmicks, but you haven't seen the inside of our microwave.  This was different from my Fabric Store experience, in which the lady was a total quacko and trying to sell something completely unnecessary.  The Professor was honestly impressed with this tactic.  If you are calling to order a replacement part, then clearly you've had the appliance for a number of years.  And if you've had it for a number of years, then it's probably dirty.  And if you have to take the time to fix it, why not go ahead and clean it?  So that is how we came to be the proud owners of Super Duper Microwave Cleaning Solution.  And boy does that thing sparkle now.  Whether it's a testament to the cleaning solution or to The Professor's skills, we'll never know.

This week was the series finale of the show Smallville.  The Professor has a long history with Smallville.  The show started when we were in college, and a group of our friends was really into it.  We would all get together to watch it in Allison's room.  I myself wasn't that interested in the show, but it was an excuse to be able to see The Professor.  Our college was an absolutely no co-ed dorms type situation.  The boys were barely allowed to so much as look at a female dorm as they walked on the sidewalk in front of it.  That's why it was a big deal to watch a tv show in mixed company, in a dorm room.  Apparently The Professor and I continued this hobby of Smallville during the year that he lived here and i lived in Atlanta.  Apparently we watched it on tv at the same time and called each other on the commercial breaks.  I have no memory of this.  I believe it to be true and it sounds like just the sort of sappy thing we would do; it just can't remember doing it.  Several years ago i quit the show Smallville because it got very silly.  The Professor, however, has remained loyal, because that is the kind of person he is.  Once he makes a commitment or gets involved with something, he never turns back.  For years i have been making fun of the show, and he has been faithfully watching it.  This week was the much-needed end to the show.  The Professor asked me if i wanted to watch the last-ever episode with him, and i couldn't understand why he thought i would do such a thing, until he reminded me of our history with it, and of the fact that we watched it together long distance.  Even so, i didn't watch it with him. 

3.  Me - The first few days of this week i had the dysentery, and the next few days after that i was recovering, and the next few days i was fine.  It took me longer than expected to get my strength and appetite back.  Before i got sick, when the BabyGirl had it, i was telling some friends at work that she was sick.  One lady has a baby nephew who lives with her, so we always ask each other about our babies.  When she heard about the BabyGirl's diarrhea, she said right away without hesitation, "I'll bet you she's teething!"  This was very confusing to me.  I've taken a couple of anatomy classes, and i don't remember learning that the tooth bone is connected to the poop bone.  I gave it some thought, and it just didn't make physiological sense.  She wouldn't give it up though, "Call your husband, tell him to look in her mouth, and i'll bet you she's teething!" Well when i wound up getting sick, i missed a week of work, so it was a while before i saw her again.  First thing in the morning, she said, "So is she teething?"  I explained to her that while, yes, the BabyGirl is teething, the fact that i caught it from her and had it for 6 days makes it seem unlikely that teething was the cause. 

She seemed unconvinced.

Another thing for me is that i nannied for David on Thursday!  We had a lot of fun.  This time went WAY better than last time.  I lost David at one point (don't tell Laura!).  He can sort of scoot around but not very adeptly.  I had left him in a big open space in The Room Formerly Known As The Living Room while i got something from the kitchen.  I told the BabyGirl, "You're in charge of David for a minute."  When i came back, he was gone!  This used to happen a lot when the BabyGirl started crawling, so you'd think i'd learn my lesson.  Fortunately, he was hiding behind a huge bag of clothes that Hannah gave me.  Crisis averted!

I fell into a bad habit this week.  I started playing Zoo Tycoon again.  It happened when i didn't have the energy to do anything but was bored of the internet (and you know you've spent too much time on the internet when you run out of things to do).  Zoo Tycoon was the perfect solution; all you have to move is your index finger.  It occupies your mind just enough that you aren't bored, but isn't as much work as reading a book.  I used to be obsessed with this game during my nightshift days.  It kept me awake til 5am many times.  It was the perfect solution then too.  I needed something that would keep me up all night long but not make any noise since The Professor was sleeping.  You can't vacuum or wash dishes in the middle of the night, but you can play Zoo Tycoon!  I remember many lonely nights, trying to survive until 5am when i was allowed to go to bed.  It was my brother who got me hooked on this game, and it gave us a common bond.  Now he's older and much more cool. 

And that's a wrap, folks!  Thanks for listening.