Didn't You Hear That I'm a Good Mother?

I love joking around and having a good time with my customers at work. You can get a vibe immediately from walking in the room to know who is going to be fun and who is not. Recently i had a particular customer who was a prime candidate. Oh did we have a good time. She was a good-natured person and we made each other laugh. She was accompanied by her sister and her adult son. The sister gave us some good material for jokes. She was one of those people who thinks they know a lot, but actually doesn't. However, she was light-hearted enough that she didn't take herself too seriously and didn't mind making fun of herself.

The woman i was taking care of was having sinus surgery. The rule is that the location of the surgery has to be signed by a member of the surgical team. This is to prevent all those wrong-site surgeries you hear about on Dateline. You can't exactly put a signature on someone's sinuses, so we have these little temporary tattoos that look like a bulls eye, and we put it right above the nose. The surgeon signs the tattoo. I explained this whole thing to the woman having surgery, but her sister wasn't listening. After we applied the tattoo, the sister said, "Oh, those are the things they use for a brain scan!" The patient and her son burst out laughing, and proceeded to give her a really hard time about it.

The patient had very bad veins, and the nurse i was partnered with couldn't get the IV, so the task fell to me. I got a hot pack to put on the woman's wrist to plump up the vein i was flirting with, but i couldn't pop the hot pack to activate it. Her son had been sitting in the corner with headphones in the whole time, and she'd been making fun of him for it. I handed him the hot pack and said, "Hey, you in the corner! Make yourself useful and open this."

The patient said to me, "Do you have kids? Naw, you look too young to have kids!" I informed her proudly that i have a 10 month old BabyGirl, and she said, "Well i bet you are a great mother!"

I could have given her a big ole smooch for that! It definitely helped me recuperate from my Fabric Store experience, when a complete stranger judged my baby-raising skills. Now a semi-complete stranger thinks i'm a great mom! It made me feel great.

Unfortunately, the BabyGirl did not share my patient's opinion.

The BabyGirl has been going through a Difficult Phase. One aspect of this phase is that she hates mealtime. Whining, crying, blah blah blah, mealtime has been a real challenge. And the child has always been a great eater so i don't know what her major malfunction is. The Professor and i have conducted a full diagnostic investigation, and i can say with certainty that the problem is not physiological in nature.

One meal in particular we were butting heads. It was a clash of wills. My goal was that she would open her mouth, i insert food, she swallows food, and repeat so that WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY. Her goal was . . . I'm not sure exactly but it was definitely the opposite of my goal. She was giving me all kinds of disapproving looks, so i said to her, "I'll have you know that i'm a great mother!"

She was unimpressed.

If and when springtime ever comes, i'll prove it to her. We'll go to the zoo and look at the big kitties and have frozen lemonade and i'll buy her a balloon and we'll make crowns out of dandelions.

But until then, she's stuck in that highchair with me jamming pureed beets in her mouth.